


“Hold on Baek, don't move. You've got something on your cheek.... oh, it’s a blush.” “Shut up!”

by Sips_nervously



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: But I love em so much, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, They are two annoying pieces of shit, WELL THEY ARE IDIOTS BUT CUTE IDIOTS, and idk where i'm going with this story, and lot of 'efeoifrhfefperf just kiss already', and maybe some smut (cause we all love that right), but they are my idiots, fluff of course, they are idols, they just love each other, they like to annoy each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2020-09-24 21:07:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20365084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sips_nervously/pseuds/Sips_nervously
Summary: Chanyeol rediscovers the joy of living with EXO... and Baekhyun *cough* sarcasm *cough*





	1. Reunion

“Hey, look who's here!” Suho screams as he rose from his seat to greet the giant who had just passed through the front door. The leader's smile is wide and warm, his arms wide open to be able to embrace the imposing build of the rapper.

Although they speak frequently by message, the absence of the giant is noticed. Not only because it's hard not to notice him with his height, but also because Chanyeol is the most caring, cuddly and one of the loudest of the group, so sometimes it's nice not to have the heavy voice of this giant care bear that resonates in all the rooms, but his absence is quickly awfully heavy.

Especially for Baekhyun.

“You're okay? Do you want to eat something? Or maybe you've already eaten? You look tired, do you get enough sleep? You don't work too hard, do you? Did you-“. The _'I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool_ _mom_' Suho doesn’t fail to make Chanyeol laugh.

“It's fine, I'm fine. If you have something to eat I’ll be-“

“Okay! Sure, take off your coat, sit down and I'll cook you something.”

Chanyeol chuckles then follows Mom Suho’s orders. He get rid of his coat and settles on a chair. He notices how quiet the dormitory was, except Suho who's in the kitchen, he's alone. The place is so quiet, in his memories it almost never happened, if ever. He sighs because of the lack of presence at his side and stand up.

“Can I help you?”

“Oh, no no no, go join the others. They missed you, you know?”

“Really?” He sighs in defeat. Did everyone really miss him? Because he finds it a little hard to believe given the absence of his members around him.

“Of course.” Suho turns around and smiles affectionately to the giant.

He shrugges and takes this idea out of his mind. They may be busy or exhausted, he can understand that they don't have the energy to tolerate him now.

“Go put your stuff in your room, it'll be ready in ten.”

Chanyeol nods and heads in his room... his old room? He doesn't know much anymore. When he walks to the door, he feels like a stranger or a guest. Embarrassed and not entirely sure of himself, he puts his hand on the doorknob and open it.

Immediately he recognizes the place, always the same area with the same pictures on the wall, pictures of his family, pictures of his sister's wedding, pictures of his members and especially pictures with Baekhyun, the ones they never shared.

He takes a few steps into the room and wants to collapse on the bed, roll in the duvet and die in nem mode, but he's interrupted by a voice. A voice that sing an old tube and wiggles like a maggot. Baekhyun had just come out of the shower and had not noticed that he was no longer alone in the room. He continues to sing and dance until he turns around and his eyes lands on Chanyeol.

Caught by surprise, he screams in a high-pitched voice and by reflex he puts his hands on him to hide his bare torso as if he were shy -nb: he isn't shy-.

“The fuck? Get out of my room.” He shouts, outraged to have been surprised when he got out of his shower, even if it's just Chanyeol. 

“What?”

“Fuck off.” The little pink-hair guy keeps the same tone and Chanyeol struggles to understand what it means. He remains frozen on the spot, both surprised and angry at the aggressive behaviour of his best friend.

“You fuck off!” He responds. “What's your problem?”

“You, now get the fuck out.“

“Hey Chan, the meal's ready.” As always, Suho is perfectly timely. When they were younger and they bothered each other, there were times when things went wrong and they were ready to come to blows, but Suho was always there to separate them.

Without a word, Chanyeol turns and slaps the door behind him.

“What's his problem? Does he have his period or what?” Chanyeol asks with a hint of anger in his voice. He had arrived just 10 minutes ago and he already wants to leave.

“Drop it, it's just Baekhyun. Come on, eat.” He smiles.

It's just Baekhyun. Baekhyun has never been like that, ever, especially with Chanyeol. The latter would have expected another welcome from his 'bestfriend', but he realizes that things have changed during his absence. Baekhyun changed. He changed. As well as their friendship.

He losts his appetite and his eyes are only looking at the door of his room in the expectation that the smaller would come out of there.

But he didn't.

It was a long night for the blond, he had stayed up all night with Netflix for company only.

Recently, he thinks about a lot of things, it very often prevents him from sleeping. Sometimes he feem like he's not good enough, flawless enough, talented enough, appreciated enough, significant enough. He works so hard to make it up that he forgets himself in the process. 

He lives with this irrational fear of disappointing everyone, it eats him from within so the slightest emotion is intensified and deeply hurts him. It's like a knife blade that sinks into his flesh and turns everytime. The worst part is that _he_ turns the blade into his own flesh. He hates being so vulnerable, so complex, both happy and sad. How long has he been like this? Since when does he feel so alone? Maybe he should really stop listening to Lana Del Rey's old songs.

And now Baekhyun adds to the list. He can’t understand why he didn’t come to see him of all evening, usually they get angry but reconcile in the next hour, Baekhyun goes to the boy and hugs him with an adorable pout to ask him forgiveness and everything disappears. He can't understand anything and it annoys him, it boils deep inside him.

It's decided, tomorrow he'll confront him.

Well, tomorrow… in a few hours.

Long hours waiting for the hour.

The hour to wake up the dwarf.

Above all, he takes a shower without making any effort to be discreet. On the contrary, once under hot water, he sings his favorite Radiohead song with his broken morning voice, but loud enough to cross the walls and reach the little being sleeping in the bed.

** _But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo._ **

** _What the hell am I doing here?_ **

** _I don't belong here._ **

He continues to sing as he returns to the room to get dressed.

** _She's running out the d-_ **

He's interrupted by a cushion thrown in his direction.

“Shut up for puppies’ sake!” The smaller growls in the bed and sinks into the sheets.

Oh, he wants him to shut up hm?

Chanyeol quickly puts on a short and a shirt, he jumps on the bed and shouts **_SHE'S RUNNING OUT THE DOOOOOOOR _**directly into the smaller’s ear who starts to wiggle. To prevent the dwarf from hitting him, he sits on top on him and grabs his wrists firmly enough so he can't move.

“SHE RUNS”

“SHUT UP”

“RUNS”

“SHUT UP”

“RUNS”

“SHUT UP”

“RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNS”

Even more or less immobilized, Baekhyun try to struggle, but Chanyeol's grip is far too strong for him.

“I'm going to kill you.”

Chanyeol laughs, even with his little angry eyes Baekhyun looks like a little puppy. Especially when he has just woken up and his eyes are still puffy. He's adorable, too adorable to scare Chanyeol with his poor threat.

“I don’t belong here.”

“No you don't. Let me go or I’ll curse your children.”

“I don't have children.”

“CHANYEOL.” The pink whines as he squirms under Chanyeol. “I'm going to bite you, kill you and cut you into small pieces.”

The blond blinks before smiling. If he was upset and wanted to make Baekhyun pay when he entered the room, now he finds the situation too amusing to stop there and he knows that Baekhyun loves it too. As long as he has all the blond’s attention, he's delighted.

He leans in order to sing a new song directly in Baekhyun's ear.

“OH WHAT THE FUCK ????”

The door opens in a loud bang and surprises the two roommates. They turn their heads simultaneously with a guilty look that means _'okay__ I screwed up but you love me, I'm cute so don't kill me_'.

“What is... What are you both doing?”

“Nothing?” Chanyeol replies nonchalantly without realizing that he's lying on Baekhyun and, perhaps, it can be a little bit… confusing.

He finally realizes it and he straightens up and clarifies his throat. “I was singing. Sorry if I woke you up.”

“You woke up the whole building. Don't forget that you're not alone here.” Sehun growls behind Suho.

“Sorry.”

“It's not a big deal.” Says Jongin. “We're going to leave you to your... business.”

“We don't have any business.” He answers -or rather shouts- almost immediately with big eyes. Instinctively he looks at Baekhyun for support, but the little one simply offers him a smile that means _'don't count on me bitch'_. Nice.

“Sure... Don't forget breakfast.” (Chanyeol heard Sehun said an almost quiet 'and condoms' over Jongin's voice, note to himself: kill the maknae) “Okay. Bye.” He says then closes the door immediately, leaving Chanyeol red with embarrassment.

“I have to go, I have work to do.” The giant get up and walks to the door without even looking at Baekhyun.

“Don't you want to eat first?”

“No, I'd find something in the studio.”

“Whatever.” Baekhyun shrugs and goes back to bed without adding anything more. He talks like he doesn't care if Chanyeol is going to eat or not, it makes him crazy. Why is he like that? The giant rolls his eyes and goes away.


	2. The diva

The morning was quickly forgotten when Sehun offered to go for a drink with the whole group. He is happy to be reunited with his members after a long day of work in his studio and hang out with them somewhere else than in a training room.

They find themselves in a singular bar in Seoul, a bar that all idols frequent so they can have fun secretly without having to worry about what others would say or be afraid of being photographed in an awkward situation. They are like everyone else, humans, they sometimes need to let off steam and drink. Some come here just to fuck, they call it 'clandestine rendez-vous' because managers don't set foot here, so idols are free to do what they want. Others come just to have fun like the boys tonight.

When Chanyeol arrives, part of the group are already there, chatting at the bar. He joins them directly, smiling again thanks to the maknae initiative. Sometimes he feels like Sehun can read his thoughts, as soon as Chanyeol is at the end of his tether, he is always there to help him get up even without realizing it.

“Sorry I'm late.”

“Don't worry, we're still waiting for the queen of the evening.” Jongdae scoffs.

Indeed, Baekhyun's not arrived yet. Is that astonishing? Not at all, the pink has always liked to make remarkable entrances and for that he must be the last to arrive.

Chanyeol rolls his eyes and orders some glasses.

“We can start without the diva.” All nod and start to drink.

The discussion began quickly, they talk about old performances -making fun of their younger years, especially their previous hairstyles- or even previous evenings, laughing heartlongly. That's when the diva appeared in his black leather slim, oversized red shirt and flawless make-up. The boys whistle to make fun of him, but Chanyeol doesn’t react. He settles for his drink without even looking at Baekhyun.

The pink immediately notices that and stares at Chanyeol for a minute without success. His stubborn-self decides not to turn his head to give him satisfaction, he knows that it will annoy him.

“What were you talking about?” Baekhyun looks away and throws a random sentence without taking an interest in it, it's just to think about something else.

“We were talking about the last time, when we found you crying in the bathroom because you couldn't get out.” Chanyeol is -so- delighted to utter his words and bursts out laughing with the rest of the group. Except Baekhyun. The boys are laughing so hard that tears are forming in their eyes.

Baekhyun crosses his arms and makes a displeased pout.

“Ya, stop laughing like cows, it happened two years ago, you have to move on.” Oh Baekhyun's annoyed little voice pleases Chanyeol so much.

“But it's still funny.” The blond wipes a tear at the edge of his eyes.

“Not at all. It happens to everyone to pull instead of push.”

And they all burst out laughing again.

“YA!”

He doesn’t make up and prepare like that to be humiliated by his idiotic friends.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” Jongin, like all the others, tries to breathe and stops himself from laughing again because the expression on Baekhyun's face is even funnier than the story itself.

“Okay, we're not laughing anymore.” Jongdae says then closes his mouth to hold his laughter.

“If you want to laugh, we just have to talk about the last time Chanyeol met his crush. ‘Is he looking at me? Is he looking at me? Oh my gooooooood he looks at me.’” Baekhyun hops and screams like a 15-year-old fangirl. Chanyeol is suddenly less amused, his smile completely gone in a second.

“First: I didn't have a crush. Second: I don't talk like that. It's more you, when you have wet dreams.”

“I never have wet dreams. How could I with you around?”

“What does that mean?”

“It means you're blocking all my sexual energy with your big ears.”

“Oh, yes? But that doesn't stop you from shouting my name in your sleep.”

It's a real ping pong match between the two, only Chanyeol and Baekhyun speak and play pass-the-parcel under the gaze of the rest of the band.

“You're imagining stuff, that's pathetic.”

“Oh, I think... Hold on... Baek don't move.”

“What?”

“You've got something here, on your cheek.... oh, it’s a blush.”

“Shut up.”

“Chanyeol, chanyeol, chanyeol.” The taller leans to moan his own name and he doesn’t feel embarrassed at all. Baekhyun feels angry more than anything else. They both know that Chanyeol is lying about this supposed wet dream just to annoy him, but Chanyeol doesn't care whether it's the truth or not, as long as it works. And it perfectly works.

“Shut up”

“Chany-“

Baekhyun's hand crashes into Chanyeol's cheek. All are surprised by this gesture, Baekhyun's the first and looks at the giant with his eyes and mouth wide open.

“You're crazy???” This is the first time their 'fights' have gone this far. The slap has nothing to do with a little slap to tease the other, it's even quite painful, the trace of Baekhyun's hand burns against the left cheek of the blond.

“I- Well, you asked for it.”

“I was just fucking laughing, what's your problem?”

“Nothing, you ruined my night. Thank you Chanyeol.”

On these words, the pink disappeared in front of the astonished eyes of everyone. What just happened?

“Seriously? What’s wrong with him? Since yesterday he has been attacking me.” He's so irritated by his unusual behaviour that he ends up worrying. Has something happened in his absence?

“Nothing… He’s just-“

“Baekhyun, yes I know.” He rolls his eyes. The same argument as yesterday, Suho was doing better at the time. “Did something happen?”

All the members look at each other, not very discreetly, and it's Jongdae who decides to break the silence.

“You know with Minseok and Kyungsoo’s enlistments... he has lived it quite badly. He cried on stage before Min's departure.” Oh, he already knows that, but hearing someone say it out loud makes it a little more sore. “I think he's just sad.” He adds with a soft voice and an equally sweet smile.

“Why is he attacking me?”

He shrugs. “I don't know Chanyeol. Just go easy on him, okay? He's fragile.”

It's hard to restart the evening after that, Chanyeol is somewhere else. Well physically he is here, but his mind is far away. He can’t help but think of Baekhyun and the fact that his absence takes away all his happiness of being here with the boys. How is he supposed to have fun without Baekhyun? It's impossible, the boy is the mood maker of the band, the one who always makes everyone laugh, the heart of the party. He half listens to the words of his friends, his thoughts always oriented elsewhere.

Once back, Chanyeol timidly goes to his room and hopes that Baekhyun would already be asleep to avoid facing the boy. He feels shabby for being so stupid and spoiling Baekhyun’s evening, and even if he blames himself, he doesn't have the heart to face him right now.

The room is quiet, but the light are still on. On the bed, Baekhyun is asleep with his glasses on the tip of his nose and an open book on his chest. He cutely squeals in his sleep and the blond smiles. He missed the smaller’s sleepy sounds. He really missed Baekhyun. He really _misses_ him, but he is far too proud to admit it.

He sits on the bed beside him, takes off his glasses and puts them delicately on the bedside table, he does the same for his book, and then he stands there watching him sleep for a moment. He looks at him until his heart began to make strange leaps into his chest. Alerted, he gets up and goes into the bathroom.

When he goes back to the room, he notices that the boy had moved. He has put himself in a fetal position, it makes him look so tiny and breakable. Chanyeol has only one desire: to surround him with his arms and fall asleep against him, but given the previous two days he refrains himself. And it's when he goes to sleep, once again, on the couch that his heart hurts. Nothing will be the same again.

For once, he finds sleep quite quickly. He feels himself leaving in Morpheus’ arms when a voice came to challenge him. Fuck.

“Chanyeol?”

A sleeping Baekhyun materializes in front of the blond, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m playing tennis.”

They both rol their eyes.

“Alright, I'll leave you.” He doesn't even try to reply, Baekhyun who is the one who always wants to have the last word. Decidedly, Baekhyun has changed a lot.

“Did you want something?”

Between finding sleep and Baekhyun, Chanyeol quickly makes his choice.

“Just water.” He says as he lifts his water bottle.

They look at each other for a minute without telling anything.

“So I have my water, so... I go to bed.”

“Okay.”

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

Baekhyun nods, turns around and walks to his room, but something stops his run. He turns to face Chanyeol lying on the couch.

“Why are you sleeping here?”

“I didn't want to disturb you.”

“This is your room Chanyeol, you have the right to sleep there.”

“It's your room too, you have the right to kick me out.”

“But I'm not kicking you out.”

“I thought that-“

“No one's kicking you out.”

“I-“

“You're the only one who kicks you out.” Although his voice is low, the blond can perceive Baekhyun's resentment.

“I just thought it was better that way.”

“You thought, you thought... You still think you think better than everyone else. I have a scoop for you Chanyeol: you're wrong.”

“You... Why are you saying that?”

“Because you should have stayed at _your home_ Chanyeol.”

The knife blade that sinks into his flesh, now he can feel it. And this time, it's Baekhyun who stabs him.


	3. Times apart

He can't sleep because of that sentence that haunts him. Baekhyun's voice keeps repeating these words over and over again. He never thought he would think that, but he really hates his voice right now.

There is one thing worse than feeling alone: rejection.

Should he leave?

No, he refuses.

He refuses. Yeah he refuses, he gets up and walks into his room. Baekhyun is right, this is his room. Yes, he has deserted the last two years, but he has the right to be there. This is his house, his family.

He opens the door -maybe too hard-.

“Chanyeol?”

The room is too dark, all he can see is a shape standing next to the bed.

“Chan', is that you?”

An ounce of panic can be hear in his trembling sleepy voice. What if it wasn't Chanyeol? It could be everything. A robber, a fan, his manager or a ghost.

The shadow snuggles against him and the smell of the shampoo they share calms and comforts him. The blond surrounds Baekhyun's waist and puts his head on his shoulder. The latter doesn’t reject him, so he sinks a little deeper into the crook of his neck. The giant feels better, as if he belonged to this place, yet he feels his tears flow.

He cries like a baby on the shoulder of a half-awakened Baekhyun.

"Chanyeol?" He squeezes Baekhyun's small waist when he hears his sweet voice. "Please don't cry."

"Chan', please." He repeats before turning to the side to cuddle Chanyeol. His arms slide around his neck and he squeezes him as tightly as possible against his chest. They stay in this position for a long time, seconds, minutes, hours, who knows? They stay in each other's arms without talking. Baekhyun lets Chanyeol cry.

The giant breaks the embrace and meets Baekhyun's eyes. He has always said that Baekhyun's eyes contain all the stars of the sky, an entire universe, and every time he laughs you can see fireworks. Except this time they shine for a different reason and he doesn't like to see that.

Baekhyun couldn’t help but shed a few tears.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have abandoned you."

"No, you shouldn't have."

He would have preferred another answer, but he deserves it. He deserves every blow.

“I won’t leave you again. Never again.”

Baekhyun snorts. “You've said that many times before.”

“Baek...”

“I knew it would happen, everyone wants to work with you and I understand.” Baekhyun try to hide his broken voice as best he can, but he’s too tired. “For two years we just saw each other during meetings, rehearsals and filming. The last time we saw each other off stage, you didn't talk to me once. Not even once and you didn't notice.”

The blond's heart crashes against his chest before dying slowly and painfully in a tortuous distress. He had never seen so much sadness spoil Baekhyun's beautiful face and he hates himself to be the source of that.

“I'm so sorry.”

“We grew up Chan', maybe we don't need each other anymore.” He says, clinging to Chanyeol like a koala clinging to his tree.

“What are you talking about?”

There is nothing worse than seeing the blond’s lost and begging gaze.

“I think we should spend some time apart. I'm going to change rooms and sleep with Jongin and... it's better that way.”

“Why is it better?”

“It's just like that Chanyeol. I should be glad you're back, but I can't.”

Oh, wow.

That's the fatal blow that cuts the jugular. Baekhyun gets up and lets Chanyeol bleed.

A week passed.

Every day, the same ritual. Chanyeol would wake up, alone, realize that he wouldn’t find Baekhyun near him, he would get up, he would have breakfast then go as quickly as possible take refuge in his studio and he’d return in the middle of the night. And so on.

It's stupid, really.

How is he supposed to ignore his roommate? His presence is so powerful, his sweet scent embalms the apartment every morning, even his sheets smell that sweet -and bitter- smell.

Chanyeol goes round in circles and it drives him crazy. He's been in his studio for a few hours now, but he can't work properly. He can't concentrate on his screen, his thoughts fly elsewhere. Eventually, he realizes that he's just looking for excuses to stay here a little longer.

He's tired of it, takes his stuff and goes back to the dorm. He's not going to spend his life hiding in this room just because Sir Baekhyun decided to sulk. He will not live according to his stupid laws, if he wants to talk to him he will talk to him, whether the dwarf is happy or not, whether he has to force him or not, whether he has to tie him up or not.

In his trans state, he is taken with unsuspected bravery and as soon as he comes back he throws his jacket on the table and walks to Jongin's room.

“Yeah, there!”

Words freeze him on the spot.

“Faster~HAN FUCK.”

What

The

Fuck

Is it really from this room or is he hearing voices? Because he prefers the second option.

His hand is resting on the door handle, but he is unable to open it as much as he is unable to leave.

Baekhyun's voice continues to cross the walls and torture Chanyeol which decomposes as the pink moans.

With Jongin.

Yikes.

Is that why the smaller suddenly wanted to change rooms? To get fucked by Jongin?

“HAN, YES.”

Okay, that's his cue.

Chanyeol slept only a few hours, well because Baekhyun's voice prevented him from sleeping, but also because... Baekhyun and Jongin? He didn't see that coming.

At breakfast, he eats his rice quietly when the two leave the bedroom laughing side by side. Jongin greets the giant then resumes his conversation -or rather his whisperings- with Baekhyun. The blond watches them talk to each other, laughing together as if he didn't exist.

Uh, hello? He's here, too.

Disgusting.

He finishes his rice as quickly as possible to get away from all this surrounding nonsense because it makes him nauseous.

He was working in his room when someone scratched at the door. 

Someone is scratching at the door of his room and he... barks?

Chanyeol opens the door and is immediately attacked by a small corgy that jumps on him.

“Mongryong!” He laughs cutely, his mood rises as soon as he is with an animal. The corgy, his tongue hanging, joins him on the bed and cuddles him. He embraces him and the dog puts himself on his back, paws in the air, so the taller scratches his cute belly.

“You look like your owner like that.” He's giggling.

“I've never been like that.” He doesn't have to turn his head to find out who just appeared.

“With Jongin surely.” He mutters, perhaps a little too loud.

“What?” Yeah, he heard, his voice shows it.

“Nothing.” He rolls his eyes and continues to scratch the corgy.

“Anyway, come on Mongryong, let's go.”

“But it has just arrived!” Chanyeol whines without looking at the pink, his attention is totally captured by the little being who tries to lick his face. He loves Mongryong, but can kill a horse with his bad breath.

He hears the boys sighing behind his back, but sincerely he doesn't care.

“This is my room, you're not allowed to come until you're invited.” This time he can imagine the bored expression on Baekhyun's face and he still doesn’t care.

“And that's _my_ dog.”

“And that's _my_ sweat.”

Chanyeol turns his head to observe him, a semblance of a victorious smile on his lips. He wears one of his sweats.

The pink mumbles.

“Alright, Mongryong, come on!”

And despite Baekhyun's 'authoritarian' tone, the dog doesn't move. Mongryong never listened to him anyway.

“I think he wants to stay with me. If you want, I can walk Mongryong so you have your day off to do whatever you want with Jongin.”

“What?”

“I said I think he wants to stay with me. If you want-“

“I heard you idiot!”

“Oh, you're very tense for a guy who had sex last night.”

“Oh I was perfectly fine until you start talking.”

“I just told you to join Jongin.”

Chanyeol tries to keep an expressionless face and Baekhyun holds back from wrapping his throat with his hands and killing him. Suffice to say that the tension is quite high in the room.

“You know what? You're right, I'll find him and ask him to fuck me like last night. I suddenly want to come.”

“Or simulate.”

“What?”

“You were faking it last night.”

“No, I had the biggest orgasm of my life, for real.”

“No, you were faking it.”

“No, I had the biggest orgasm of my life.”

Ping pong match, part two.

Baekhyun, standing, looks at the blond with his arms folded, his eyebrows frowning with a look that could kill him and the blond is quietly resting on his bed with a sneaky expression on his face.

“Come on, stop Baek, I know when you're exaggerating and clearly it was comedy.”

“What would you know about it? It's not like you're an expert.”

“Oh, he attacks.”

“Does it piss you off to know that Jongin knows how to use his dick? Feeling inferior perhaps?”

“If he knew how to use his dick, you wouldn't have had to fake it like an old whore in heat.”

“If I screamed like an old whore in heat it's because he fucked me so deep that I couldn't hold my moans back.”

“I'm sure you had to finish yourself.”

“Don't worry about me, I was well fucked by a good and beautiful cock. Maybe you should take classes with Jongin, it would save you from cumming after two minutes like a virgin.”

“Oh, outch. Do you believe that? I'm_ so_ hurt.” He says ironically.

“Yes, you and your little dick you suck, it's written all over your face. No wonder why you never fuck anyone.”

“If you like Jongin's cock so much, you can join him.”

“You know what? I'm going right now.” He says and leaves the room.

“GOOD SIMULATION.” Chanyeol screams so the pink can hear it.

“I’M GOING TO HAVE THE BIGGEST ORGASM OF MY LIFE.”

Ah, kids.


	4. Short-legged with an imposing butt

The walk with Mongryong is so cool. Everyone halt to pat the dog on the top of his head. Literally everyone. The charm of the little corgy with big buttocks is immeasurable.

Once in the park, not far from the dorm, Chanyeol lets the corgy run freely and can't help but laugh every time he sees his little buttocks move. Seriously the corgy is so funny, short-legged with a big nose and an imposing butt. Fortunately Baekhyun didn't put his little cap on him today, Chanyeol thinks it emasculates the little poor corgy, he can’t flirt with that on his head. Well, Baekhyun probably thinks the same when he puts a diaper on Toben, but that's not the point.

After a good hour enjoying the sun, the two friends come home, happy. They had a really great time together. On the way home, Chanyeol tries to have a conversation with Mongryong and Mongryong replies, he swears, every time he asks him something, the dog barks.

It's a real conversation.

The longest conversation he's had in a few days.

When he opened the front door, he was greeted by screams coming from a room. Baekhyun's voice howling obscenities. Chanyeol sits on his heels and covers the corgy’s ears.

“My poor baby, your owner is a real bad example. Don't repeat the nasty words you hear.”

He laughs when the dog licks his nose and takes him with him on the couch, at least it gives them time to cuddle while Baekhyun finishes his show. It's ridiculous really, no one screams like that during sex, not even in porn. It's pure provocation and Chanyeol is determined not to say anything even if he really wants to bang against the wall and tell him to shut up.

He launches a drama on Netflix and positions the dog on his chest, it feels good to feel a presence with him.

After ten minutes, the front door opens and a smell of chicken invades his nostrils.

“We’re home with the meal!” Suho shouts and it didn't take much for Chanyeol to get up from the couch and find them.

The chicken is exactly what he needs right now and god it smells so good and-

Hold on.

So the chicken is there... in Jongin's hands... who has just arrived with Suho... then Baekhyun...

“What are you doing here? You're not with...?”

“With who?” Jongin tilts his head to the side, confused.

“Baekhyun?”

The screams resume and all turn their heads to look at the door.

“If you're here and he's there… then who's he with?”

“Nobody.” Sehun mumbles while eating a packet of crisps. How long has he been here? No one had seen him coming.

“What do you mean?”

“Well… he’s alone.”

“Sehun, develop.”

“Yesterday I saw him waiting at the window, I asked him what he was doing and he told me he was waiting to see Chanyeol's car. Then he went into Jongin's room and started screaming.” He says nonchalantly. “Then he started again earlier, waiting for Chanyeol to come back and… well, you can hear him.” Then he shrugs like it's evidence.

“You mean last night… he was all alone?”

Sehun nods.

“And that he's all alone right now?”

He nods again and Chanyeol bursts out laughing.

“What a moron!”

The giant loves this change in the situation and doesn't waste a second. He gets on the door and knocks.

“Hey Baek, I know you're probably very busy right now, but dinner's ready.” He pauses for a few seconds -for the dramatic effect-. “_Jongin_ brought the chicken.” He says with a smile on his voice.

It's so pleasurable, he gloats on the spot while Baekhyun becomes silent all of a sudden.

“I'll let you get dressed.”

Baekhyun stayed in the room all evening.

Chanyeol wonders if he died of embarrassment or something like that so he knocks again at the door of the room.

“Baek, come eat.”

The smaller stays silent.

“Don't be stupid, you're not going to stay here all night. Come eat!”

Not a sound, Chanyeol sighs.

“Fine, I'll leave you a plate in front of the door.”

He sets up his trap, he only has to wait five minutes before seeing the door open and an arm venture out in search of the plate.

But instead of finding the chicken, it's a hand that grips his wrist.

“Let me go!”

The blond pushes him into the room with him and closes the door behind them.

“Get out!”

“Oh, I wanted to meet your fuck buddy who fucks you so well, I'm disappointed.”

“Ahahah, okay it’s so funny, you're happy, you won, now get out.”

“Baek...”

The smaller mobilizes all his strength to push him, all his frustration goes through his muscles and Chanyeol is sent against the door.

“I don't want to talk to you.”

“Baek.”

“I'm serious.”

“I'm serious, too. Why did you make up this story? It's stupid, if you needed attention you could have come and talk to me.”

“Oh yes, and when? You're busy all the time! Either you're in your studio or you're on the phone. You always have something to do and even when you have nothing to do you are not available. Oh non, sorry, you're available to everyone but me.”

“Hey, you're the one who decided to sulk, not me.”

“Today you could have stay with me, we were both here and you preferred to go with Mongryong. You'd even rather spend time with my dog than with me.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No. You're not doing anything to make things right, it looks like you don't even care.”

So it’s the pot calling the kettle back. He was the one who told him he wanted time alone last time, he didn't imagine it, and now he dares to put the blame on someone else? Incredible!

“What do you want me to do then? Tell me.”

“Nothing, it's too late.”

“Baek, stop.”

“You're two years late.”

Silence sets in. Baekhyun sits on the bed with his head in his hands, and Chanyeol is still against that door. It's still crazy that every time they talk it ends the same fucking way. It's like a movie that starts all over again and it's exhausting.

“I've already told you I'm sorry.”

“I know, but it doesn't change anything.”

“What the hell did happen? Why you’re so mad at me?”

“Nothing.” He keeps a confident voice to convince him and maybe convince himself too. He doesn't want to talk now, he doesn't even want to look Chanyeol in the eyes, he just wants him to leave.

“Please go.”

“Talk to me Baek.”

“I don't have anything to say to you.” He says with a harder voice this time. “I only talk to my friends, and we’re not friends anymore.”

“Baek...”

“Please get the fuck out of here. Don't talk to me, don't look at me, leave me alone.” Baekhyun throws himself on his bed and hides in the blanket.

Again the discussion ends on that same bitter note.

Chanyeol nods and leaves the room.

He is not ready to let Baekhyun down, especially not when he can testify to his condition, but he has pulled something from this 'conversation'. The pink needs time, he covers something old and surely repressed in the depths of his guts and Chanyeol knows deep down that he will come to him when he feels ready. In any case, he hopes so.

It’s not possible that their friendship ends here, not like that, not now. They have always said that they will still be fools and that they will annoy their respective grandchildren. Since the boy entered his life, Chanyeol doesn’t imagine a single day without him, he doesn’t conceive this idea, his body totally rejects it.

On his bed, the blond thinks back to Baekhyun's 'you won' words and laughs bitterly. He didn't win anything, he lost everything.

His eyes rest on Mongryong lying at his feet, ready to fall asleep.

“Hold on.”

The dog looks at him and lets himself be caught in Chanyeol's arms. The latter takes him to Baekhyun's door.

“Go cuddle Baek for me, will you?” He strokes the dog's nose, then lets him into the room so that he can go to his owner.


	5. The bad boy

Is he whimsical? Absolutely not!

Of course, he asked Chanyeol not to talk to him, look at him or say his name, but he didn't have to listen to him. The giant never listened to Baekhyun before. It's all nonsense! He wasn't supposed to listen. So Baekhyun is angry with Chanyeol, he is angry because he listened to him.

No he’s not a lunatic bitch.

Two weeks. Two long and endless weeks.

What a big baby!

Baekhyun shows up at Chanyeol's studio with great pomp. He opens the door and positions himself in the center of the room. His dramatic pose perfectly executed, his hand on his forehead and his chin raised like in a telenova... But Chanyeol isn't looking.

The giant looks at his screen with his headphones on his ears.

Disappointed but not surprised.

He sighs and removes the headphones from the giant's ears.

The latter jumps on his seat.

“Fuck Baek. What the fuck??! You almost gave me a heart attack.” He puts his hand on his heart and breathes deeply.

Oh poor baby.

“Stop working!” He pouts.

“I have to finish the composition and write the lyr-“

“Stop working!”

“Baek.”

“Stop working!”

“I can't.”

Capricious? Naaah, he's just bored. Chanyeol refuses to give him what he wants so he's going to do the same. He keeps the headphones in his hand and hides it behind his back.

“Baek, stop playing, give it back to me.”

“Come and get it.”

“Baek, I don't want to play.”

“Well, I do. And I'm the one who has your handphones.” Chanyeol can perceive the ghost of a mischievous smile at the corner of his lips. The kid really wants to play, but Chanyeol doesn’t want to, he wants to work, it's the only thing he controls in his life.

“Please.”

“Come and get it.”

He sighs and stands up. Obviously, every time he comes closer to Baekhyun, Baekhyun moves back. And so on, and so forth.

“Baek!”

The pink looks up innocently. Chanyeol loses his patience.

“If you give it to me, you can stay here until I finish. And then I'll buy you ice cream, okay?”

Well… it's better than nothing, right? Baekhyun gives him back his _precious_ headphones.

Just for the ice cream.

“How long?”

“Not too long.”

Bored, Baekhyun goes round in circles. He knows this studio quite well, they’ve worked here a lot. Chanyeol is an inexhaustible source of inspiration, he just needs to sit down with him for two minutes and he can feel the words coming. He never knew how he did it, but he always admired him for that reason, -among many others-.

“Are you done?”

“Baek, it's only been two minutes.”

It’s not his fault, he has limited patience.

“What are you working on?”

He waits for an answer, but Chanyeol was no longer available to converse.

Baekhyun repeatedly tries to get his attention. He throws little scraps of paper at him, he sticks a pen in his shoulders, he braids his hair, but nothing works. The blond is focused on his work and ignores Baekhyun.

So… he sits on Chanyeol's lap.

The boy doesn’t react to the intrusion, his arm shifts to allow the pink to settle, but his eyes and attention remain on the screen.

Baekhyun comes to the conclusion that he is transparent. Or Chanyeol plays dumb. It's absurd, so absurd it seems obvious. Chanyeol pretends to ignore Baekhyun. What a little bag of shit.

He's ready to make things difficult for him. He wants to ignore him? Fine, he’ll regret it

“Chanyeol.” He whines and sticks his back to the boy's torso. He rubs his head against Chanyeol's, voluntarily letting his pink hair block his vision.

“Stop it.”

“No.” Baekhyun turns his head and exhales against Chanyeol's neck before coming a little closer to his skin. The burning breath is replaced by his tongue, which licks the blond's neck in all its length. His fingers slide gracefully and teasingly along the same sensitive neck as he bites the lobe of his ear.

“B.. Baek? What are you doing?” Rhetorical, my dear Baekhyun. “Please stop.” How cute. His voice contradicts his own words, it’s so supplicant.

“I told you I want to play.” He whispers in a smooth voice.

“I have to work.”

“Work then, I can play alone.” His lips meet the neck of the blond who, despite his complaints, he stays there with his head back and his magnificent throat exposed. He licks his neck and leaves reddish marks. He bites and sucks the skin accelerating the intensity of the sighs of the taller who tries, as much as he can, to stay focused.

Baekhyun continues to devour his delicious skin as his hand goes down along the torso and ventures further south.

“Baek.” He moans.

Goddamnit.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asks with a smile that the taller can only guess against his skin. He feels Chanyeol's bulge standing under his hand, it's a victory.

“No, it's... It's wrong. AH.”

Baekhyun leaves Chanyeol's thigh to settle straight on his nascent erection.

“Oops?” He fakes innocence before biting his lip. He started the game to annoy Chanyeol, but now he's the one who's fucking horny.

He exerts pelvis movments against Chanyeol’s erection who struggles not to let anything escape. He suffocates his meowings that overwhelm him. But the more he refuses to give Baekhyun this satisfaction, the more he increases the pressure of his movements, his ass against the bulge, which makes him moan even louder.

“B.. aek, I. I don't know if... That's wrong.”

Yeah sure. Chanyeol spreads his legs and invites Baekhyun to continue. The latter smiles, so delighted to hear him hold himself until he can no longer stop himself from moaning.

“Chanyeol, I want you right now.” He grunts and speeds up the pace again. He turns his head, resting against Chanyeol's shoulder and looks at him. “It's just sex, how could it be wrong?” His frantic friction slow down as Chanyeol looks for air. “Besides, we're not friends, remember?”

'We're not friends, remember?' That sentence should hurt Chanyeol and yet he feels everything but that.

“Please do this for me.” He moans to provoke him, then he stops his movements, receiving a protest. Second victory.

“W..What?”

“Touch me.” He somewhat blushs while saying these words, and he’s seriously happy that Chanyeol can’t properly see his face right now.

He shivers, his little body overhanging Chanyeol’s one shivers with desire, arousal, but also need. He feels so alone, he needs to feel something, he needs to feel someone and the idea of being rejected makes him quite emotional, he can feel his tears, they’re in his throat.

Luckily, he feels Chanyeol's hand hastening to unbutton his pants that became far too tight for Baekhyun. He slips his hand in his boxer and grabs his cock. Baekhyun opens his mouth, surprised, and moans as vulgarly as possible. A real pleasure for Chanyeol's ears.

He pinches his lips, embarrassed to have moaned so loudly, but the blond sneers.

“Scream as much as you want Baek.” Chanyeol murmurs in his ear.

He starts fast back and forth causing uncontrollable spam throughout Baekhyun's body. He arches his back and grabs Chanyeol's t-shirt with his fist, his head falls back and whines. He keeps squealing. Chanyeol delights in his reactions and leans to kiss his exposed neck while accelerating the pace. His other hand passes under the boy's t-shirt to caress his nipple and under the addition of the three sensations Baekhyun begins to shiver again.

“You're so perfect Baek, let it go.”

“Chan, I... I... fuck, I'm almost...”

“Fuck yourself in my hand.”

He executes the request and undertakes a few strokes, and, at the same time, he rubs Chanyeol's erection. Both moan and Baekhyun comes in a final stroke with an electrifying cry, which can put porn stars to shame.

If he wasn't sit down, he would have collapsed, his legs would have let him down. It was just a handjob, damn it. He must really be frustrated.

“Weren't you supposed to be working?”

“I was, but someone distracts me.”

“Oh? Tell me more about that.”

“Turn around.”

He turns to sit on the blond’s laps and -of course- brushs the terribly hard cock that lies just below him. He can't help but blush when his eyes meet Chanyeol's eyes, they've never had that degree of intimacy before and it scares him as much as it excites him.

“You're such a bad boy, Baek.”

The bad boy pouts and nods in total agreement.

“Very bad Chanyeol, I need to be punished.”

“Yes, sir.”

In no time, Baekhyun stands in all his naked glory. Chanyeol looks at the delicious milky white body and licks his lips, he’s hungry right now.

“Like what you see?”

The blond nods and smiles. “Do you want to see something you could like?”

“Try me.”

Chanyeol gets up and suddenly he stands extremely close to Baekhyun. He strips, removes his t-shirt and the rest, but Baekhyun looks at nothing but his eyes.

“What's wrong?”

The voice shakes his thoughts.

“A.. nothing, I've never noticed that your eyes are so big.”

“I've got something else big for you.”

Oh man.

“Oh? Your ears?”

“Yes, my ears.” He laughs and sits back in his chair.

“I'm thrilled, I love your ears.”

“I thought they were blocking your sexual energy?”

“Not when your dick greets me so kindly.”

They laugh and the pink kneels strategically between Chanyeol's thighs.

“W… wait.”

“What?”

“You don't have to...”

“You know I only do what I want Chan'.”

He slips his hands over the blond's thighs before opening them with a sharp gesture. He licks Chanyeol's sex pressing his tongue at the top of his cock and the blond groans. He playfully and hungrily licks the head then takes him in his mouth picking up raspy rattles from Chanyeol. He encourages him to take him deeper and Baekhyun is nobody to refuse that.

“Fuck Baek. Your... Your mouth is… fuck… magical.”

“If you want, I can show you a magic trick.”

He takes him to the maximum, swallowing the entire cock. Pouf, vanished down in his throat.

The hot and humid lair welcomes Chanyeol to perfection. As the smaller takes him deeper and deeper down his throat, he meets his movements and thrusts hard, making Baekhyun moans around his cock. The blond grabs Baekhyun's hair, which makes him moan again, and gives himself up to the boy's mouth.

He comes a few moments later in his throat, growling Baekhyun's name.

Baekhyun laughs and settles on Chanyeol's lap. It seems so unreal, everything that just happened makes no fucking sense, but he doesn't care. Chanyeol's presence makes him feel good, he feels good when those big eyes look at him.

He doesn’t care if it complicates everything, Baekhyun needed it. He needed to feel close to someone even if it involves having a dick in his mouth -which doesn't bother him, let's be honest-.

They look at each other in comfortable silence and Baekhyun smiles. A real smile. Honest and genuine.

Chanyeol is tempted to kiss that smile, but Baekhyun puts his hand against Chanyeol's lips to stop him.

“You know my rule. I don't kiss before, during or after sex, it's my golden rule.”

“You got my dick in your mouth and you bitch about a kiss?”

“I don't kiss.”

“Never?”

“Never.”

Others may not understand, but it’s important for Baekhyun. He never had a real relationship, a relationship that involves feelings and shit, not just sex. He never had the time to invest himself for that and he regrets it. He’s 27, he wants something more but his life is way too crazy for that.

So he decided, one day, that he’ll save a kiss, a real and beautiful kiss -yeah like in the movies, don’t tell but Baekhyun lowkey likes all those stupid romantic movies- for someone special. Yeah, one day, he’ll share something private, not just his ass.

He leans and kisses Chanyeol's cheek then stands up.

“Thank you, I needed it.”

“Hold on... Are you serious?”

Baekhyun stops with his pants in the middle of his thighs and looks at Chanyeol.

“Yes? I just came for the ice cream.”

“You... bitch. You're not going to leave me like this? With that?”

He points his new erection, Baekhyun sneers.

“You're old enough to take care of it on your own. Good night Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun returns home _victorious_.


	6. Alone, but together

**Byun fucking Baekhyun.**

He's going to regret it.

Chanyeol watched him leave with his satisfied smile on his lips, and now he is determined to take revenge. After all, he's just playing by the smaller’s rules, right? If he doesn't like it, he can only blame himself.

Oh, yes, he's totally ready to play Baekhyun's game, maybe a little too excited about that idea. He imagines what he could do to win the next round and a smile appears. Is he happy about this situation? No, not at all. The last two weeks have been a real torture for him, but he's starting to put it into perspective.

And it has nothing to do with the blowjob.

He finished his work a few hours later, Baekhyun's sudden arrival strangely gave him a lot of inspiration.

So he returns home.

The silence is present, the lights are all off and the atmosphere is so peaceful, everyone is sleeping. He does his best to be as discreet as possible and puts his stuffs in his room.

However, he doesn’t intend to stay there for long.

He enters Baekhyun and Jongin's room on tiptoe. They sleep with the shutters open, so the path is illuminated, but even in total darkness he would know exactly where to find Baekhyun. The farthest place from the door _'if a thief comes, I'll be alerted by your screams before he tries to rape me'_ . What a bitchy baby.

As discreetly as possible, he slips into the sheets, over Baekhyun who sleeps peacefully. He looks at him and smiles. He is adorable when he sleeps, he looks like a baby dog, especially when he dreams and moves his little hands.

Anyyyyyway, he's not there for that, focus!

“Baek.” He whispers -and sincerely hopes that Jongin isn't a light sleeper-. “Wake up.”

He doesn't wake up.

He leans and bites the skin of the boy's neck quite hard. That's all it takes for his big eyes and mouth to open. Fortunately, Chanyeol has quick reflexes and puts his hand to cover Baekhyun's mouth.

“Shh, it's me.” His eyes are so huge, they could come out of his head. “Wouldn't you like to wake Jongin, hm?”

He waits for the smaller to nod and removes his hand.

Baekhyun slaps him.

“You stupid asshole! I almost died!”

“Stop being dramatic.”

He's ready to debate, but Jongin's moving. The two boys look at him and stop breathing until they are sure he is still asleep.

“What do you want?”

“Finish what you started.”

“Wh-“

Chanyeol spreads Baekhyun's legs and settles in between. Now he understands, the pink feels Chanyeol's hardness against him.

“No. No fucking way. No, don't even think about it.”

For the simple answer, Chanyeol sticks his pelvis to Baekhyun's and rubs his erection against his crotch, once. The smaller doesn’t expect it and gasps.

“Jongin is…”

“Don't wake him up, you're going to have to shut up for once.”

“Ch..Chan I- f...”

Chanyeol sticks to his body and snits his mouth below Baekhyun's ear. It allows him to whisper nasty words and bite his skin -and, well, drive him crazy-. He resumes his pressure against his crotch while the smaller fights with his huge desire to moan.

“Chan...”

“Shut up, unless you want to be caught.”

Baekhyun's dick twitches.

“Oh, I see.” He says in a mocking tone. “In that case...”

Both are dressed, Chanyeol wears his basketball shorts, Baekhyun wears a simple boxer and together they get active. Chanyeol continues his pelvic movements and Baekhyun tries to suppress his voice. His breath is heavy, more intense and he surrounds Chanyeol with his arms, wanting him even closer. A hand grips his blond hair, if he can't scream, he can at least pass his pleasure differently.

The latter meets Chanyeol's rhythm and the addition of the two makes the bed squeak slightly. The excitement of getting caught is so huge that they accelerate even more.

“C.. chan I want...” His sentence is interrupted by a moan quickly covered by Chanyeol's hand. “Mghdgjgh mgh.”

His voice muffled, he only has his eyes to beg Chanyeol. 

They know they are close and the fact that they look into each other's eyes makes the orgasms even more powerful. Baekhyun would like to yell at him to fuck him right now, but he can't. Even if he could speak freely, he wouldn't. They pushed the buttons way too far and he has to stop it before he develops a taste for it, a taste for him.

Baekhyun can't say he never thought about it, Chanyeol is handsome, tall –and he really likes feeling so safe next to him- and doesn't dislike him, he loves his attractiveness and his sticky side, but there has never been the slightest ambiguity between them. Or at least, before tonight.

They come at the same time, Baekhyun bites Chanyeol's hand and the latter grunts in Baekhyun's neck. They stay like that for a moment, bodies against each other, time to regain their spirits.

Chanyeol stands up without a word and leaves.

What? That's all? Not even a 'good night', 'thank you' or a 'goodbye', he's leaving like that? Baekhyun's heart unwittingly squeezed.

**Park fucking Chanyeol.**

Baekhyun knows a lot about feelings. He knows what he loves, what he doesn’t like and there’s not in between. He knows he loves EXO-L, music, strawberry and he kinda loves his members too and he knows he hates cucumber and when the heat is too high. For the rest, he just doesn’t care. Yeah, Baekhyun has always been confident about his feelings.

He never felt conflicted, never.

And he never wants to feel that.

He sweeps away his thoughts and finishes his eye liner.

Tonight, there’s a party at the dorm. And when there’s a party, Baekhyun wants to shine brighter than the stars. He wants to be the only star and let all eyes be on him. He doesn't ask for anything more, he just wants all the gazes on him. Lack of self-confidence or whatever, he likes it.

Does he have a particular person in mind tonight?

No.

Absolutely not.

We were talking about his lack of self-confidence and not Chanyeol.

Who's talking about Chanyeol actually? Nobody.

He doesn't even think about him.

Not for a second.

Anyway.

He finishes his makeup and looks at himself one last time in the mirror.

Surprisingly, he's ready before the guests arrive and it frustrates him a little. Of course he’s the one who receives, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t make one of his beautiful entrances.

He sits on a chair, his legs crossed and his known impatience already shows up. Arg he doesn't like to wait. He’s a bad wait-er. He gets bored quickly, so he looks all around him before freezing his gaze on Chanyeol. He is in the kitchen, in a black outfit, sober, simple. Black pants, an unbuttoned black jacket that hints at what's hidden under and it's... nothing? Just his chest?

Oh.

“Yeah it's passable.” Baekhyun shrugs and looks away.

The guests arrive quickly, they are not too many, just their closest friends.

The bell rings and Baekhyun rushes to open the door.

“The pizza-ah?”

Dara.

What's she doing here? Baekhyun freezes on the spot and stares at her without realizing it. She just smiles at him and greets him.

“H…Hi?”

Fortunately Chanyeol arrives and breaks the awkward atmosphere. Well fortunaly, or not. He takes her in his arms.

“I'm glad you were able to come.”

What? He invited her? Without asking permission?

Like, no.

Fucking no.

Baekhyun fakes a smile and leaves.

Chanyeol has always liked Dara, it's no secret, especially for Baekhyun who had to listen to him for hours, 'Dara, oh Dara'. He knows her life better than his own and… he doesn't care. He never fucking did.

He sighs. Chanyeol spent more than an hour - an hour and 4 minutes 32 seconds to be precise - with Dara. They talk, they laugh, they eat, they drink, they breathe, they live and Baekhyun doesn't care. Clearly he doesn't care.

Really he doesn't care.

Anyway, he's got something else to do.

He stays cloistered in the kitchen and drinks.

“Okay she's pretty, but I'm prettier!” He mumbles between sips.

“Hey Baek. What are you doing here all alone?”

“I'm alone because no one want me, I'll DIE ALONE AND MY CATS WILL EAT MY DEAD BODY. AT LEAST I'LL BE USEFUL FOR SOMEONE.”

Sehun didn’t expect this answer, let’s be real, he didn't expect to see him leave so abruptly. He stays in the kitchen and nods.

“Okay.”

Baekhyun hears his bedroom's door open.

“I don't want to talk to you Chanyeol.”

“It's Sehun.”

“Oh.” He didn't want to sound so disappointed but… he did.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing I'm just sad when I drink.”

“You've been drinking lemonade all night.”

“It's still a drink!”

“Okay, what if you tell me what's wrong?”

“I just have an existential crisis. Go back and have fun.”

Yeah, Baekhyun wants to be alone, but not too alone. He thinks he wouldn't mind being alone with someone, being alone together. From the moment he hears his thoughts, he freaks out, so he decides to get out of his room and, sigh, socialized.

Before that, he went to his bathroom - his old bathroom, but all these products are still there - to get a makeover. But he didn’t have time to open the door, someone else did for him.

He almost falls against his chest.

“Chanyeol.”

“Baekhyun.”

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“You... What were you doing in there?”

Chanyeol looks around and pinches his lips.

“What do you do in a bathroom, Baekhyun?”

“Oh, yeah.” He laughs, he doesn't know if it's his stupidity or just nervousness. It's stupid, why is he nervous?

He smiles nervously and lowers his head before entering the bathroom. He faces the mirror, but he is too focused on his peripheral view to see what he looks like. Indeed, Chanyeol is still there and he is looking at him. Is he waiting for something or?

“I've been thinking.”

_Don't make a sarcastic remark Baek._

“And I think we should talk about... You know.”

Okay, he's not ready for that, but he's facing the giant. A ball forms in his stomach and he tries his best not to show his torment. He's so ashamed and embarrassed at the same time, god, he wants to die right now. 

“Yeah, I... I think I was horny. I'm sorry, I needed someone and you were the only one there so...”

The blond arches an eyebrow. He's trying to hide what he thinks, too.

“Yeah, it was just because I was the only one there.”

“Yes, exactly. It could have been anyone else.”

“Like Jongin?”

Jajajaja bitch.

“No... Listen Chanyeol, I think I-“

“No, wait. Let me talk first.”


	7. It feels wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ((ya sorry, this isn't really glorious, but I'm having a hard time recovering from my move))

What does he expect? To tell you the truth, he has no idea. He just looks at Chanyeol with his breath stuck in his throat and his heart beating at a desperate pace -and he doesn’t know why, he doesn’t expect Chanyeol to say something special to him, like, no, it’s stupid-. His nervousness has gone up a notch and he is already feeling his knees shaking.

And for what? It's not like it's the first time they talk.

Oh god his hands are sweaty now. He really needs to googling to make sure he's not having a heart attack right now.

Baekhyun tries his best to keep a straight face -well, straighter than he can be-, but the silence between them seems to last forever and so heavy he can’t take it. He's really close to shaking Chanyeol or scream or just ugly sob.

“You're right.”

Okay, liberatio… wait what? He admits he’s right now? What a progress.

Yeah Baekhyun’s always right.

But, wait, about what?

“About what?”

“What you said last time. We've grown, we've changed, and so has our relationship. I didn't want to admit it, but I realized I was too dependent on you. It's not good for me and not good for you either. I don't want you to force yourself to do things with me. I have to learn to live on my own, we won't always be together, right?”

What?

No.

No he wasn't supposed to say that.

Or he is?

Oh god, what's going on?

“I-“

“No Baek, we gone way too far, and we should stop. I'm sorry, I won't touch you again and I’m willing to give you some time apart.”

Oh.

Yeah, that.

“Oh okay… Thank you.”

That's exactly what he wanted right?

He can’t understand what his heart is screaming now, it sounds like screaming in mandarin and korean and french and english, at the same fucking time, but he understands that it feels so… wrong.

Yeah, he wants everything but that. Goddamnit he feels so frustrated and sad and broken and everything, it's like he needs to cry while eating ice cream and oh god does he has his periods or something?

And Chanyeol smiles, a sad smile, and that looks like a goodbye.

His voice sounds like a goodbye.

Everything here looks like a goodbye.

Okay it’s time to panic Byun.

“I'll move tomorrow, it'll be easier if I'm not ar-“

“Stay.”

“What?”

“You heard it, look at your ears' size I mean you can't-“ (yeah he wants to kick his ass too)

“Baek!”

“Stay please.” He looks like a baby, literally. His back lies against the wall and he looks so defeated. He hates when things won’t go in his way, but most of all he hates to know that Chanyeol isn’t near him. “Don't leave again.”

“You’re the one-“

“I know okay? I’m the one who told you to leave, well call me lunatic if you want and… fuck I don't know what to say else but please stay. Stay with me.”

“I'm tired Baek. You don't know what you want, you keep pushing me away every time and it’s hurt me. I'm not a toy and you’re not a kid anymore, fucking hell you’re 27 Baek, grow up.” Yeah okay it’s fair, Baekhyun takes it, hard, but he takes it. “_You_ decided that you wanted some time alone, _you_ decided to change rooms, _you_ decided to stop talking to me, _you_ decided to not be friend with me, then _you_ decided to come back, but _you_ decided that you can live without me Baekhyun. _You_ took all those decisions, so now assume ‘em.”

Wow that was harsh, it’s like Chanyeol had just spit all his venom in his face and the poison was paralyzing Baekhyun.

Come on, say something Byun.

“Your dick isn't that big.“

Not that something you stupid.

Why doesn’t he know how to handle crisis situations? You idiot.

“You see? You don't even take it seriously. You don't need me, you just need everyone's attention and when you don't have mine you start your stupid games.” Oh no, not the big voice, not the big voice, not the big voice. Baekhyun feels smaller than ever in front of the closed and strict expression of the blond. He hates it, that pretty face is made to smile and shine, not for… that.

“But I-“

“It's over. Whatever it is, it's over. All I wanted was to be friend with you Baek because I'm not afraid to say that I need you. But you don't know what you want. So now it's _me_ who take a decision for _you_.”

Baekhyun remains speechless as he looks Chanyeol leaving the place.

He stays like that for 5 minutes, against the wall, immobile, unable to breath. Lost. Alone. Sad?

He sits on the floor and bring his legs against him.

“But… I want you.” He whispers.

Then he breaks into tears.

Chanyeol wasn't kidding. He was gone.

All that was left was his smell and the pictures he had left on the wall. Nothing else. His belongings were gone, even his guitar was gone.

Baekhyun hates this vision and the worst thing is that it’s his fault.

The pink sighs as he observes the lifeless room, far too empty without the presence of the giant, without his loud voice and charming laugh.

He spots a small white paper on the bed and suddenly a glimmer of hope’s reborn in him.

_'You can take the room.'_

“What? Seriously? That's all?” He shouts. “And you, you can fuck off!” He yells all his frustration off and doesn't care the slightest if that's bothering someone.

“I fucking hate you.” He rips the letter and throws all the pieces of paper to the ground. “I hate you.” He attacks the pictures, takes them off the wall and rips them one after the other. “I hate you.”

He pauses when his eyes settle on a special picture. Special for him. They both pose with a smile on their lips while Baekhyun looks tenderly at Chanyeol, one of the last they took. He cherishes this picture more than everything, if there was a fire, he would save it first, even before his own pretty ass. It's his favorite picture. It was his favorite picture.

“I hate you.” He rips it and cries. His tears flow uncontrollably, and his heart compresses into his chest, to the point where he can’t breathe or stand. He drops to the ground surrounded by scraps of paper and rolls into a ball.

And cries.

He did just that for hours before falling asleep in tears on the floor.

Chanyeol knew he made a mistake very quickly.

Yeah, on the way home he called himself stupid, dumb and all the synonyms he can find. He's probably a bit lunatic too or maybe he's acting without thinking first but it's never too late, right? Well he hopes actually.

He immediately ran into Jongin's room but Baekhyun wasn't there, so he searched everywhere. Until he found him, sleeping on the floor of his room like a little dog. A sad little dog.

“Baek.”

Shit, he did that? He looks so broken right now and his cheeks are still red and wet. What a mess. He's so focus on Baekhyun he doesn't even see all the piece of pictures everywhere on the floor.

“Baek.” He shakes him slowly.

“Baek wake up.“

“DON'T TOUCH ME!!” Oh damn. Baekhyun opens his eyes and shouts so damn loud it just shakes the walls of the whole house, Chanyeol startles.

“Baek wait.”

But Baekhyun doesn't want and starts to struggle, his feet and hands agree to hit Chanyeol. Or at least, push him back. He doesn’t want to be touch by these big hands.

“I HATE YOU.” The hysterical behavior of the little pink is the purest heartbreak of all time. Chanyeol can hear his heart break into small piece of glass and all these pieces of glass sink into his flesh.

“I HATE YOU.” He continues to scream, cry and fight at the same time, Chanyeol loses all his self-control and cries too. He lets go of his grip on Baekhyun and drops his back against the bed.

“I hate me too.” He says in tears.

Baekhyun regains his composure and looks up at the blond with his gleamy eyes, glittering by tears, for the first time of the night.

“I'm sorry Baek, I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to think that everything is okay and that I'm okay but it's not, I'm not.” He doesn't even know what he is saying right now but, fuck, it feels so good to talk. “I feel so wrong everywhere I go. Like it's not my place or people doesn't want me there.” He talks while looking at his hands but he can see Baekhyun. And he sees that he stands up and walks. But not towards him.

He sighs.

“You probably don't want to talk to me or see me or want me here. Yeah, I understand.” He continues to talk even if Baekhyun isn't here anymore. He just needs to talk whatever someone wants to listen to him or not. “At your place I wouldn't me neither. I mean I'm stupid and...” At this moment he sees all the pictures on the floor. Oh wow. That's a deep blow in the guts. Well Chanyeol's heart is already in pieces so. “And I deserve this. Probably. Maybe I need to talk to a psycho-“

He stops when he feels something falling on him.

His carnet. He looks up at Baekhyun who came back with the little black thing.

“What?” Chanyeol is confused. He's never without this little carnet. He writes or draws on it when the moment feels right, he has a collection of carnets since his debut.

Baekhyun sits on his knees just in front of Chanyeol, opens it and shows him the last page. On it there is a little drawing at the bottom right of the page. Chanyeol looks at him still confused.

Baekhyun drew it two years ago. It's an illustration of his favorite picture of them, the picture he ripped in million pieces. It's very childish and simple but it kinda looks like them. He even drew little dog ears onto his head and big ears for the other.

He takes the carnet back to show Chanyeol. He scrolls through every page from the end to the beginning and the drawing comes to life. The boy with the dog ears who looks at the boy by his side, then the boy looks back at him and they end up smiling to each other.

And at the end ‘here: for what will happen next'. Chanyeol feels stupid at first, he's always with this carnet and he never saw it.

“You get it?” Baekhyun asks after a long moment of silence.

“Yeah...” He pauses. “No.” Call him dumb if you want but he is kinda fucked up right now he couldn't even say his name if you asked him. "What will happen next?" He asks innocently while looking up at Baekhyun.

“I don't know.” He shrugs. “I'd imagined an end.”

“What it was?“

“I thought the guy with the big ears would kiss the guy with the dog ears. But it was hard to draw so I just thought that, maybe, they could stay like that. Smiling at each other. That’s a good end.”

“And the guy with the dog ears is okay with that?”

“I guess, yeah, he probably thought if he had to have one thing to see until the end, it would be the smile of the guy with the big ears. Even if it’s stupid or creamy-cheesy.”

So Chanyeol smiles. Well not his big and bright happy virus smile, a weak toothless but cute smile. Cute because he’s smiling at Baekhyun. Well, Baekhyun thinks it’s cute, but he can’t help but feeling devastating by this smile.

He nods and gets up, ready to go, but Chanyeol takes him by the wrist and looks up at him.

“I need your permission.”

“Huh?”

“Do you want me to kiss you?”

Baekhyun blinks at him, both surprised and terrified. What he is supposed to say? He doesn’t know, it’s not like he’s asking him what he wants to eat tonight.

Or... it can be the same thing.

What? No.

Yes? No? Baekhyun opens his mouth but no words come out when Chanyeol gets up and faces him, bodies way too close. The pink can feel Chanyeol's warmth surround his small body and his breath touch his skin, making him shiver. Oh shit, his heart starts beating like crazy, calm the fuck down.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” He emphasizes every word and they hit Baekhyun in the chest.


	8. Chan's attention

He opens his eyes, one after the other, with difficulty. The daylight assaults him and makes him want to go back under his duvet, but his body thinks quite different.

He gets up slowly but he feels terribly weak once standing on his legs. He lets himself fall back on his bed and lies on his back, contemplating the ceiling. He’s still far too sleepy to understand what is going on in his head, his brain still extinguished, so he’s just enjoying this peaceful moment before everything comes to haunt him again.

His body is tense, his muscles seem petrified and sore as if he had run a marathon and his legs no longer even carry his weight. Baekhyun feels bad, sick, his stomach twists and his heart accelerate under the stress that hits him.

He has a hard time understanding what happened, whether it happened or if it was a dream and, to tell the truth, he is afraid to know. He is afraid to know that it was only a dream, that Chanyeol didn't come back. He is afraid to face his absence. He doesn't even want to think at all. He just knows that he's been on the floor where he fell asleep and not in his bed and he just wants to deny the obvious for a few more minutes.

He finally decides to stand up and face reality. The sad and defeatist walk accompanies him to the kitchen where he looks for food. He doesn't even pay attention to the others who are already gathered around the table, chatting and laughing happily.

He sighs and prepares his tea with his head down. No one seems to care about him, he’s not a morning person anyway, so no one tries to talk to him until he has drunk at least three sips. Or even four if the condition of his hair is really catastrophic. Just like today.

He already hates this day and it has just begun.

Locked in his bubble, he breathes the steam of his tea and watches the water turn in his cup. He doesn't need to look up to know that Chanyeol isn't there, so he just drinks his tea and goes back to his room to grieve and maybe die too. He sinks into the sheets, surrounds his body with it and breathes deeply the smell that reminds him of a certain person. He falls asleep almost immediately.

And he wakes up, two hours later, with the same melancholy. He’s exhausted, emptied of all vital energy, emptied of water, emptied of motivation, emptied of everything. His forces fled, nailing him to bed.

“Tonight?”

His eyes open and, immediately, he finds all ability to live and stands on his legs. He rushes out of the room, without even realizing that he is running, to be sure that he has not just dreamed. He heard Chanyeol's voice through the wall and... There he is. In the kitchen. On the phone. He blinks several times, rubs his eyes and he's still there.

“Okay, count me. I'll invite the guys.”

The blond doesn’t seem to have noticed his presence or his intense stare. He hangs up and puts some bags on the table. Baekhyun can see several things, but especially candies, strawberry lollipops, his favorites.

Why would Chanyeol come back just to let strawberry lollipops? Baekhyun asks himself, but doesn’t dare to make a noise, he even stops breathing. He just looks at him while he leans over the table writing something on a piece of paper.

Curiosity could kill Baekhyun right now, but he has to wait. When Chanyeol leaves, he rushes into the kitchen.

_“Party at 8.”_

For a guy who writes beautiful song lyrics, he's not very good at leaving words. Baekhyun is a little disappointed, but it gives him the opportunity to get out of this state of ‘my-guy-dumped-me-give-me-ice-cream’ and become Baekhyun again. Not the crying baby mess, the real Baekhyun.

The real Baekhyun looks smoking hot. An open red shirt, a tailored jacket and skinny black jeans. Nothing looks better than this. He regains confidence once ready, just to see his reflection comfort him. He’s on point, the makeup hides his sadness, and his thighs are perfectly molded in this slim. Yeah, perfect.

He arrives at the party and directly investigates the crowd to find a blonde head. He's looking for Chanyeol because tonight he's determined to set the record straight. He's been thinking about it all day and all these stupid stories are ending tonight. Chanyeol is right, he is no longer a child, so he will show him that he can behave like an adult.

All these good resolutions fly away when he finds Chanyeol, along with Dara.

She’s still here? Damn.

He rolls his eyes, but before turning around, he sees the girl's hand landing on his thigh. A gesture almost unnoticed because she simply pats his thigh and removes her hand, like nothing happened. Chanyeol didn't even react.

“Disgusting.” He snorts. He hates gestures of affection in public, that's all.

However, he can’t look away from them. They seem in a conversation, she laughs like a hyena every time Chanyeol opens his mouth. He's not even that funny. And again one of her hands lands on the blond.

Okay, that’s enough.

Without understanding how, he finds himself walking in the direction of the _couple_, fingers tightening the cup filled with liquid that he holds in his hand. He's not sure what he's supposed to do with it, but once he stands in front of Dara he pretends to trip and _inadvertently _his drink ends up on the pretty dress.

Oops?

Baekhyun articulates a weak 'sorry' without being sorry at all, and when he turns his gaze to Chanyeol, he crosses his big, confused black eyes. His intimidating gaze makes him want to hide in a mouse hole and wait for death.

He runs to hide in the toilet and places his back against the door. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.” He feels red burning his cheeks, his brain boiling and his heart about to explode. It's decided, he'll never get out of here again, never again.

“Baek?”

He hears the low voice on the other side of the door. His heart misses a beat.

“Why did you do that?”

“You know me, too much need for attention and everything that goes with it, hehehe, nothing very important, it happens often.”

He lies and when he lies, he talks fast. He stops breathing and talks, talks, talks, until he can't hold back. Yeah, he's always been a very bad liar.

The door opens, pushing with it his body which, let's be honest, didn’t weigh very heavily against Chanyeol's strength. But he can't look at him, so he buries his face in his hands to hide his embarrassment. Or to hide the big 'JEALOUSY' written all over his face.

“Why did you do that?” His voice is soft, he doesn't seem to blame him and yet Baekhyun remains on the defensive.

“I told you I just needed attention. And now I have it, thank you, you can go.”

Chanyeol smiled.

Why is he smiling? There is no room for a smile.

Or does he have something on his face? It’s that, isn't it?

If it's still his old joke of 'oh you got something…. oh it's a blush' it's seen and reviewed. And it's no really funny anymore after the 73739296th time.

Chanyeol takes a step forward and gently takes Baekhyun's hands to remove them. He always smiles, but differently this time. It’s more shy, almost hesitant, but his eyes retain the same tenderness that he has always had every time he lays his eyes on Baekhyun. And the latter loves it, the way he looks at him as if he were precious and fragile, he'd always felt good in his eyes, he'd always felt beautiful and loved, he feels like somebody important for someone.

“Stop looking at me.” Baekhyun tries to leave, but Chanyeol holds him in place. He cups his face and looks at him again, always silent. “Seriously stop, it makes me uncomfortable.”

“Do you really want me to stop?” He asks, but he already knows the answer.

“... No.” Baekhyun grumbles, but inside he doesn’t want Chanyeol to stop looking at him. Never. “That's why I need your attention Chan.”

“What for?”

“The only person that makes me feel good everywhere I am is you, because I know that no matter the situation, you will always look at me like that.” His voice reveals something rare in Baekhyun, vulnerability. Even in his most difficult moments, he always want to hide his weaknesses behind a playful smile, but now he can no longer lie. “I need you, it's vital. You left one day, and I was already in a vegetative state.”

“I had appointments, I told you last night.”

“Last night?” Baekhyun frowns. Wait, last night they talked?

“Yes? You were really tired, you were half asleep, you must not remember it.”

Baekhyun freezes. So there was really a last night, but... What had happened? He just fell asleep in the middle of a conversation? And he dreamed of what would happen next? All these questions make him confused and Chanyeol can feel him tighten.

“It’s okay you kn-”

“YES!” He shouts.

“What?”

“I'm answering your question.”

“What question?”

Oh no, don't tell him he dreamed just that part because he would be willing to die for the third time of the day, right here, on the toilet floor.

He feels the fever in his cheeks.

“Your... Your question.”

“I asked you several questions, you know.”

“Chan.” He whines.

“You need to be more specific because I really don't know what question you talk about, it may very well be for the question 'do you think I'm handsome?' and the answer would be totally relevant.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes and can't help but be amused by the giant. What an ass.

“The.. Kiss.. Thing.”

“Oh, that question.” He's pretending to think. “I don't know if it's still relevant.”

“Kiss me Chan.” He whispers like a prayer, so desperate to have oxygen again.

“You sure?”

Baekhyun nods.

“It’s not because you’re a horny bitch?”

Baekhyun shakes his head.

“Or because your frustrated?”

He rolls his eyes.

“I’m always a horny bitch and I’m getting frustrated because of you so now fucking kiss me or I will kill you.”

“So romantic.”

Chanyeol's mouth brushes against Baekhyun's and his whole body shivers. He starts to get impatient for something that doesn't happen but feeling him so close comforts him in a way.

“I’m sorry Baekhyun, for everything I said about you.”

Baekhyun's gaze leaves Chanyeol's lips to go back to his eyes filled with regret. His hand tenderly caresses the blond's cheek while a smile appears on his face.

“It's nothing Chan, I said stupid things too. I don't hate you and your dick is fine the way it is. Actually, it's perfect, just like you.”

“I’m not.”

“You are! You're kind, patient, funny, talented, handsome, attentive, and you always think of others. I was a jerk to you and you keep buying me my favorite candies.” He thinks every single word. Since he knows him, he's been fascinated by this person. All aspects of his personality, his exterior and inner beauty, he’s unreal. “I know you're feeling bad lately and I didn't do anything to fix it, I'm sorry. I was a bad best friend, but I can tell you a thing, I know where you belong Chan.” He gently adds and pats his heart's location.

Chanyeol's eyes glow with emotion and Baekhyun wipes a rebellious tear with his thumb.

“Let me show you where you belong Chan.”

His hand slips on his neck and with a little pressure, he approaches Chanyeol's face a little more to have full access to his lips. His lips seize Chanyeol's for a tender, chaste and slow kiss. He tastes his lips with delight and the giant responds almost immediately. His hands land on Baekhyun's waist and pull him closer.

Chanyeol's tongue is easily invited into Baekhyun's mouth and finds a dance partner for an intimate slow. Together they explore unknown places with pleasure and appetite, it's sweet and so exciting at the same time, Baekhyun doesn't even know where he lives anymore, he just wants to keep kissing him and never forget the giant’s spicy taste. The breath is missing so he breaks it, but he keeps his forehead against Chanyeol’s. They both pant and laugh.

“It's so weird.”

“I know.”

They look at each other and laugh again.

“We should do it again someday.”

“I agree.”

And they kiss again.


	9. Just tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey guuuuuuys  
i took my time i'm so sorryyyyy but i had to deal with my second move (yeah 2 moves in 2 months i just wanted to die) but i'm back now;
> 
> PS; i deleted my last chapter because i didn't like it, so i wrote something else instead.
> 
> kisses on you

“Fine guys, you've earned a moment of comfort.” Their manager speaks with a high voice to capture the attention of all these rampaging boys. Once all the curiosities are attracted, he takes them to the door that leads to a room moved into an improvised massage room for the occasion.

Chanyeol looks at the room in awe while Baekhyun instantly notices that there is only one massage table. One, for seven. He tilts his head and looks at his manager with an interrogative air.

“Can I go first???” Asks Chanyeol, already ready to relax on his back and leave all these muscles in the expert hands of a professional masseur. Just the idea stirs him so much that he hops like a baby. “Please.” His pout leaves no room for a no so his manager nods.

“Alright, the others you can go for a bubble tea, Chanyeol get dressed or, well, less dressed, the masseur arrives in about ten minutes.” Chanyeol nods frantically, a huge smile on his face and Baekhyun freezes on the spot. He went deaf after "less dressed", the image that comes in his head warms his groin. He unconsciously bites his lower lip letting it burn in his memory.

“Baekhyun, are you coming?” He looks up at Jongin and nods without much conviction.

“Go ahead, I'll catch you, I need to pick up my stuff.” A little lie never hurts, Baekhyun watches them walk away and as soon as they leave the room, he walks to the door of the massage room -and a half-naked Chanyeol. In any case, that's what he imagines.-

He hesitates for five minutes, then decides to enter.

Chanyeol is lying on his back, simply covered with a white sponge towel on the lower part of his body. His big black eyes are closed, already lulled by the smell of the incense and the zen music that surrounds the subdued room.

Baekhyun takes a few discreet steps, attracted like a magnet and if he didn’t hold back he would put his hands all over him. An amusement park is open to him and he wants to try everything, ride everything. His eyes devour him and grow softer when they look at the blond's peaceful face. He smiles shyly when he realizes that he has been staring at him for longer than normal and is about to turn back when the giant's voice stops him.

“My muscles are sore, we've been rehearsing for days and I barely have time to do my stretching. I know it's not very recommended to zap them, but sometimes fatigue is stronger than anything.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes, amused. Chanyeol was always the type to talk easily with everyone and if he had his eyes open he might realize that he doesn't talk to the person he thinks.

And all of that gives him an idea.

His smile widens into something more playful, more teasing. He approaches the elongated body again, he positions himself behind his head and takes a rose oil placed on the small table next to the bed. He puts a drop and rubs his hands to warm it up before placing them on his shoulders.

“Coming out of here you will be a new man.” He suppresses his tone of voice.

The massage starts slowly, Baekhyun has never done that but he assumes that he needs to press well while remaining soft. The singer's hands are perfect for that, delicate. He begins by massaging his shoulders, putting his hands in Chanyeol's neck and lowers them to his forearms before going up in a firm gesture. Chanyeol's growl tells him that he is doing it right, so Baekhyun feels exhilarated.

After a moment a naughty hand slips on his torso, it goes down gently to enjoy every piece of velvet skin under his fingers and rises sensually by brushing one of his nipples.

Chanyeol doesn’t react, only his breath becomes heavier, which pushes Baekhyun to continue. Both hands slide on the blond's torso and he himself changes position to land next to him, allowing him to slide his hands even lower on his abs.

“Feeling better?” He teases as his hands once again rise on his pectorals, those thumbs gently caressing his two nipples.

“I feel like I'm floating.”

“It must be the incense.” The laughing voice of Chanyeol unconsciously makes Baekhyun smile. “Isn't it strange to get touch like that by someone you don't know?” At the end of his sentence, Baekhyun slips a hand under the towel, unashamedly, to find his thigh. He observes every reaction of the boy and there is one that he noticed, right in front of his nose.

“No... It must be the incense.”

“Incense does a lot of things.” It's a good excuse for what follows, with a hand gesture he _inadvertently_ drops the towel to the ground. “And apparently it also has an effect on the gravitation of certain things.” He smiles, his eyes on Chanyeol's cock who wakes up to greet him in all its beautiful pride.

The back of his hand verges on his sensitivity and a breath of the blond is stronger than the others. Baekhyun smiles proudly, he loves men who are not afraid to be heard.

“I think you're doing it very well on your own, Baek.” His eyes are still closed, but Baekhyun is not so surprised to hear his name.

“Who is this Baek? Would you like him to be here?” He plays, because Chanyeol is his favorite reward.

“He's the prettiest person I've ever seen.”

Something explodes inside Baekhyun and leaves him speechless for a few seconds. An unknown warmth that envelops his heart as Chanyeol's words enter him. He's used to being told these words but coming from Chanyeol it's different.

“Oh, really? Pretty how?” This question makes Chanyeol smile, he knows what he's looking for.

“Like the kind of person you look at without even realizing it because he is so bright that your world is attracted by him. Like the kind of person who lets you breathless when he looks back at you. A work of art that you would never get used to and I… ah~”

Every word gets engraved in Baekhyun's heart and makes him a little more emotional than the previous one. He looks at Chanyeol, who always has his eyes closed, with a shy smile and pink cheeks. His eyes become glassy but these emotions guide his hand, which gently grabs Chanyeol's cock and strokes in a nice and slow pace, just to prepare him.

“Tell me more”. His breath is short, almost helpless. He wants to hear Chanyeol compliment him while he strokes his cock.

“He... ah... still captivates my a-attention even when he thinks I... _fuck_... don't look at him.”

“Does he know all this?” He asks while stopping his movements, hearing a growl of protest. The smaller smirks and straddles Chanyeol's body. Sitting above him, he can see him close and he loves the view, it's something he might never tire of.

“No.” He moans, his hands grabbing the thighs of the boy sat on him and gently moves his pelvis in search of friction. “Take that off.” He feels the thick garment that covers Baekhyun under his fingers.

“And you're going to tell him?” With his fingertips, he teases Chanyeol's honey skin before leaning, his lips a few inches from his own, their breaths mixing to form one. “Take it off me.” He whispers against his lips and immediately Chanyeol's hands venture into it, passing under the jog to firmly grab his ass. Baekhyun moans at that.

“Perhaps, if he promises to be a nice boy.”

“I'll do whatever you want.” He whispers again before fully kissing his lips, lovingly, hungrily. Despite the fact that Chanyeol takes off his pants, the kiss remains sweet and warm, the tongues meet and attract naturally. Chanyeol's gestures are gentle, thoughtful, everything is done to not break Baekhyun. The latter feels a finger tickling his entrance.

“No.” Baekhyun removes Chanyeol's hand and sit up straight. He grabs Chanyeol's cock and lifts up. Seeing the blow coming, Chanyeol suddenly opens his eyes.

“What are you doing? Let me pre-“

“Take me raw.”

“Baek, I don't want to hurt you.”

“I can handle it Chan, I need you now.”

They exchange a long look, and Chanyeol sits so he can be close to Baekhyun again.

“Then go ahead.” He takes his neck with one hand and draws it to his lips to devour them once more. This kiss is worthy of Baekhyun's greatest fantasies, the balance between softness and hardness, sensual, sexual and at the same time soft and pleasant. Chanyeol is an excellent kisser, he quickly finds the sensitive point of Baekhyun, sucking the tip of his tongue. He moans in Chanyeol's mouth, taking the time to impale himself on Chanyeol. Gradually, he faces a burning sensation that gives him as much pain as pleasure.

Chanyeol distracts him, kissing his lips, cheeks, jaw, neck, Adam's apple. He bites the skin just below it, making Baekhyun shiver.

“You're perfect Baekhyun. If you could see yourself through the eyes of others, you would understand what they find in you.” He whispers, mouth against his neck.

“And th-through yours?” He concentrates on his breathing, always working to tuck the machine in to fill him completely.

“You know it... Fuck.” Baekhyun gets to the end and both moan at the same time. The feeling is too good for both of them.

“N.. No, I want to... to hear it.” The smaller starts small slow movements to set his rhythm, but his eyes are fastened on Chanyeol. The intimacy level 2, not only he’s overlapping the tall blond, but this exchange of glances is so intense.

“Baek... Ah, I-“

“Yah, you finished Chanyeol? It's my turn now.” They immediately recognize the whining of the maknae. The latter pound on the door, fortunately locked by Baekhyun's care.

As caught a flagrant misdeed, they startle and detach themselves from each other quickly. The shock even hurts Baekhyun, who moans in pain. Chanyeol pushes him away and throws his pants in his face.

“Yes, yes, in five minutes.” Panicked, he looks agitately all around him without knowing where to start and then looks up at Baekhyun. “You have to get out.”

“But we still have five minu-“

“Get out.” He takes another step backwards to distance himself from the pink. Silent, he nods and approaches the door. By the time his hand lands on the doorknob he still expects Chanyeol to say something.

And he does.

“Baek...” The said Baek turns, attentive. He expects no big deal, not a great statement but maybe a date or something like that. At any case, his heart beats quickly with anticipation. “Please forget... that.”

He expected everything but that.

He blinks several times, then nods sadly.

“Okay.”

How can he forget?

The unspoken words haunt Baekhyun who is totally unable to sleep, eat, pee, breathe, without thinking about it. He imagines all that Chanyeol could have told him if only Sehun hadn't come to fuck everything up.

It became a torture that takes his guts every time he looks at Chanyeol, he doesn't even know why he's in this state, it's stupid. He is angry, all the time, when Chanyeol speaks, when he laughs, when he is with others and has a good time, when he wakes up in the morning and sings, when he talks to him as if nothing had happened. Everything Chanyeol does irritates him and the worst part is when he's not there.

Baekhyun is ready to bang his head against the wall every time he thinks of him. This happens too often now, if not all the time. No matter what he does, who he talks to, who he's with, Chanyeol is always present based on 'oh Chanyeol would like that' or 'oh Chanyeol would find it funny'.

"I'm going crazy."

That's the only valid reason for all this, it can't be anything else.

Probably his hormones tickle him too.

And a big fever.

“Baek”

The voice makes him react, like a light that shows him the end of the black tunnel in which he has been walking for several hours. It floats in the air like a distant echo that resonates several times around him.

“Chanyeol.” He moans in discomfort. His eyes are furiously closed as if he was afraid to open them. His body is only a vague memory, all he feels at the moment is a destabilizing feeling. He feels like he's lost, in total darkness and his head hurts. The only comfort is that voice he hears in his head.

“Baek!” It clears up as two hands grip his shoulders.

“Chan?” he asks. He hardly opens his eyes and the blond appears gently under his nose. It's very abstract, he sees it in slow motion and blurry, but it makes him laugh. A drunken laugh.

“Baek, what happened? Who are these people?”

“I don't know.” He bursts out laughing again at his own words.

The room, the voices, the faces, all around him is blurry and if this thought should make him panic, he just laughs. He puts a hand on Chanyeol's face to make sure he is there and smiles, unable to sit down without falling on the couch on which he was half asleep.

“Those bastards... Come on, let's go home.”

“Nooo.” He whines like a baby, sticking his back on the couch and pouting.

“It's late, don’t make me force you.” Whether the tone is annoyed, angry or authoritarian, Baekhyun is just smiling stupidly. Anyway he doesn't listen to anything, he just looks at Chanyeol's face, which becomes waves every time he puts his hand on it.

“You, Chanyeol.” He laughs again as he pushes his index finger against Chanyeol's nose.

The latter grabs him by the waist and manipulates him to put him on his shoulder. Baekhyun grunts and tries to struggle, but soon gives up under the weight of a fatigue that hits him with a blow. Chanyeol takes him to his car where he forces him to sit in the back seat.

“But I want to be in front.” He whines as he grabs Chanyeol's arm to prevent him from closing the door.

“No. You stay here.”

Baekhyun, disagreeing, pulls his tongue and crosses his arms, sulking in his corner.

The ride is quite quiet, only the sound of the radio covers Chanyeol's grunts. He doesn’t hear clearly what he says, but he knows that he repeats phrases between his teeth, harsh and furious words that escape from his mouth.

“What the hell were you thinking of?” A sentence becomes clearer and Baekhyun wonders if he is talking to him or talking to himself. He only understands it when he crosses Chanyeol's furious gaze in the mirror of the car.

“You.”

“What?”

“Oh sorry, was it a rhetico... rhetora... rhota... Not a question?”

“You're so drunk, you're stupid.” He hoists his attention on the road.

The rest of the trip is silent.

Their arrival at the dormitory is silent.

And the rest is silent.

Baekhyun sits on the bed and stares at Chanyeol. He knows that it annoys him in the way he walks, feeling the insistent look on him makes him tense and he fights to not yell at Baekhyun.

He actually takes it upon himself, breathes and calms his head, which ignites.

“Go to sleep Baek.”

And Baekhyun does anything but that. He continues to stare at the giant.

“Baek, please it's late.”

Baekhyun doesn't move, doesn't talk - which is nice sometimes - and Chanyeol doesn't have enough patience to get into his dance.

“I'm going to sleep on the couch, I really don't wan-“ The boy doesn’t give him time to finish his sentence that he throws a sock in his face. Face that turns red with rage.

And he throws the second one at him.

“Stop it.” 

Baekhyun throws his pillow.

“I said stop it.”

Before he can throw anything else at him, Chanyeol grabs his wrist tightly and squeezes it almost unable to hold back his anger. He tries to keep a cool head, but Baekhyun really tests his patience and he is at his extreme limit.

Baekhyun startles and whines at the painful sudden touch.

“Stop. It.” The more he accentuates his words, the more he squeezes the wrist in his hand. Baekhyun raises his big frightened eyes towards him. He admires him a minute, with a mix of fear and awe.

“Are you done?” Baekhyun nods and suddenly the grip loosens. Chanyeol's hand frees his wrist, which falls against his thigh. Baekhyun's eyes don’t leave Chanyeol who, once again, tries to move away. Except this time, Baekhyun leaps at the chance to be close enough to the boy to wrap his arms around his neck.

“No, you're staying.”

Surprised by the gesture, Chanyeol leans under the influence of Baekhyun.

“You stay, you stay, you stay.” He says by putting himself on tiptoe, enough to have access to his nose, cheeks, jaw, lips, all those places he covers with butterfly kisses. “Just tonight.” He whispers against his lips. “Then you can leave.”

“I-“

“Please.” Chanyeol's expression changes from the moment he sees tears in Baekhyun's eyes. Surely the effect of alcohol or something like that, but who is he to deny that to Baekhyun? He doesn't want to take advantage of a guy who seems to have drunk too much, but he seems so vulnerable, he is unable to leave him all alone like that.

“Alright.” As soon as the word was said, his lips stuck to the pink's, in a slow gesture.

Baekhyun pulls him by the t-shirt in order to stick to him while he gives in totally to the kiss. The taller sensually licks his lips and makes his tongue pass to join his playmate. From that moment on, the kiss transforms, becoming more frenzied. Chanyeol's hand travels along the body in front of him, until it rubs against Baekhyun's erection, and the smaller's reaction was heard immediately. The little meowing makes Chanyeol smile then he separates their lips.

“Don't move.” He orders but Baekhyun is already trying to find his lips again, without success. His cheeks turn red when he realizes Chanyeol is kneeling in front of him.

“Ch-an.” With his t-shirt slightly raised, Chanyeol's tongue slips from his belly to his lower abdomen while his other hand opens the button on his jeans and lowers his pants. The feeling of being finally freed makes Baekhyun moan, grabbing the blond's hair immediatly.

The latter lifts one of Baekhyun's legs, placing it on his shoulder, to kiss, bite, lick, suck the skin of his thigh and leave some marks in case Baekhyun forgets everything in a few hours. Then comes the moment when Chanyeol decides to tease Baekhyun, eyes raised towards the older one and a mischievous smile as he blows on the pink’s cock. The hot breath drives him crazy, his whole body begins to tighten with impatience and pleasure.

“Shit Ch-awgh.” He chokes as Chanyeol's tongue plays with the head of his cock, it makes Baekhyun moan louder and louder. Quickly he moves on to serious things, licking his sex and taking it in full. It seems that Chanyeol knows exactly what he is doing, leaving a moaning mess in front of him. His movements become faster and deeper and Baekhyun clings desperately to Chanyeol's hair.

“Ch...an, I.. I-.” Unable to speak, he pulls his hair to remove him before finding his release in a long growl. “Oh, fuck. I'm sorry Chan.” It's a good thing he had the reflex to close his eyes. Baekhyun blushed with embarrassment before laughing. “I'm so sorry.” He continues to laugh as he wipes Chanyeol's face with his t-shirt.

“I didn't see it coming.” Chanyeol joins Baekhyun's laugh, still a little out of breath from the lack of air, but he doesn't change his position. He stays on his knees, a hand gently caressing Baekhyun's shivering thigh.

“Can I make it up to you?” He innocently asks, although there is absolutely nothing innocent about it.

“No, tonight is about you.” Chanyeol's words surprise Baekhyun. He's used to being taken care of, but not like that. “Don't hold back.”

“What you- fuck.” Without warning, Chanyeol swallows Baekhyun's cock, squeezing his lips around it. His tongue naturally resumes his movements where he left off.

“I.. I'm not...” Chanyeol's big eyes are fixed again in Baekhyun's and Baekhyun nods as if he had understood the message. His hand took his place again and he sinks himself into Chanyeol's throat, shyly to begin with. A grunt made his whole cock vibrate, giving him confidence in his gestures. He thrusts again and again, deeply, fucking his mouth as he should. He moans with his mouth open, throwing his head back with his eyes closed, abandoned to the sensations offered by Chanyeol's mouth.

On the verge of enjoyment, he thrusts more and more violently, causing huge moans. No doubt, everyone must hear Baekhyun's voice echoing in the night, but they don't care.

“C... Chan.” His trembling voice gives way to a loud cry as he comes straight down his throat. “O.. oh fucking...” He clings firmly to Chanyeol's shoulders to not fall.

Chanyeol stands up to support him, placing an arm around his waist. Nose to nose, he takes the opportunity to put a chaste kiss on Baekhyun's lips.

“I'm not done with you.” He said in an almost inaudible voice, making Baekhyun moan faintly.

“You're... you’re not serious, right?” The smaller has a hard time regaining his breath, but above all, he feels the heavy weight of fatigue weighing on his shoulders. If he could close his eyes, he would fall asleep.

“Just tonight Baek.” He repeats his words as his hand comes again to grab his cock and gently stroke it. “I'm going to enjoy every hour.”

And despite his fatigue, Baekhyun smiles. It's promising, so yeah fuck his sleep, he'll have plenty of time to sleep when he's dead, right?

“Every hour, huh?” He sneers, placing his hands under Chanyeol's t-shirt.

“You'll remember it for the rest of your life.” He says while laying his lips against his own, biting his lower lip.

“Please.” He moans in despair, feeling himself hard again. Chanyeol's presence and attention alone made him very excited. “Ruin me Chan.”

Chanyeol smiles and lifts Baekhyun easily.

“At your command, beautiful.”


	10. Let's be friends again

Just tonight.

Baekhyun wants to hit himself for being so fucking stupid.

What did he expect? Waking up with Chanyeol by his side? His body wrapped in his reassuring arms? To wake up under the gentle eyes of the blond who admires him as a work of art? Yes, he expected it. Or, well, he hoped so.

Except that he wakes up alone, completely naked, with his headache. Drums bang in his head while the light blinds him. Slowly, he turns in his bed, moaning of pain, the pain that gradually settles throughout his body. The simple gesture is painful and makes him want to die right away on this bed. He will never drink alcohol again, ever. He doesn't even like to drink, he just wanted to get Chanyeol out of his mind and obviously it didn't work out as he had planned. He only made bad decisions, he doesn't even remember everything, his blackout begins after a few kisses exchanged with Chanyeol, wondering if it was all true or a beautiful but sad dream.

And it was, true, he sees marks when he looks in the mirror. His neck, collarbones and even his thighs. He traces with his fingertips every reddish mark, lost in his proper flow of emotions. He's probably too dehydrated to think properly. 

"Come on get it together Baekhyun." He encourages himself, desperate of his own behavior.

Chanyeol had the strangest night of his life. Baekhyun's little silhouette totally under his control, his body in full demand of his own and yet he didn't want. Nothing happened, only a few frictions before the older one fell asleep from exhaustion. Chanyeol didn't have the heart to wake him up to take a shower or dress him up so he simply wrapped him in a blanket. His own fatigue struck him, but yet he didn't close his eyes. He spent the rest of his night watching Baekhyun sleeping peacefully, his heart beating every time his little lips moved in his sleep. A lovely vision. He stopped looking at him when he felt this urge to kiss him. He didn't even know why, it's not like they're still playing. No, Baekhyun was asleep, he didn't ask for anything, they were on a break and yet he wanted to taste him again.

This terrifying feeling pushed him to leave the room before Baekhyun wakes up, to take his stuffs and go to the studio. He only wrote without stopping all morning, inspired by the images that turned in his head and his heart became a little too noisy every time he thinks of Baekhyun.

And yet he feels stupid.

Stupid and sad.

Sad to feel that way now.

Why now when he could have had what he wanted before?

His notebook.

He frantically searches for it without finding him. "Fucking fuck!" He gets angry, blood going to his head. He never goes out without it, it should be here.

"Fuck it!" He screams in his studio and takes his cap. He's going to buy another one.

The day passes slowly for Baekhyun, his hangover prevents him from being productive or enjoying his day off, he just wants to die.

"Ugh, kill me Sehun." 

"Rude night, right?" He asks with a smutty smile. He has no reason to smile at his misfortune, what a stupid pretty sassy boy. Baekhyun really hates him sometimes -no, not really-.

"Does this have anything to do with Chanyeol?"

The question surprises him, Baekhyun can't hide his surprise. Why does Chanyeol suddenly appear in the conversation? Because no, it has nothing to do with him. Or maybe, but Sehun doesn't have to know.

"What? No, I just drank too much." He defends himself weakly, too weak to do better.

"Because of Chanyeol?"

"The fuck are you talking about?" Baekhyun frowns, already irritated by his headache, he doesn't want another.

"About that." Sehun throws a black notebook on the table, right under Baekhyun's nose, who looks up at the youngest, looking him like he doesn't understand. "It's Chanyeol's notebook, I know he never goes out without it. Well, except today." He says with a laugh as if he had just said the funniest thing in the world while Baekhyun looks at him emptyly. "Can you explain it to me?"

Baekhyun arches an eyebrow, ready to bang his head against the kitchen table to avoid having this discussion right now, with Sehun, in this state. He doesn't know which of the three is the worst.

"If you want to know why he didn't take it today I don't know, just ask him." He says, shrugging his shoulders, determined to close the conversation here.

"The drawings Baekhyun." When he uses his entire first name, he knows it's serious. "You and Chanyeol are t-"

"NO!" He's screaming unintentionally. Sehun's round eyes look at him and judge him, he feels it. He doesn't want to hear the sermon of 'you can't, you're in the same group it's going to cause trouble and if the manager finds out it's fucked up for all of us, he's going to cancel our comeback and if we have no comeback it will be your fault and you're going to blame yourself until the end of your life and we will also blame you because we really want this comeback and the fans will blame you to death, it will be the end of exo and you will end old, alone, with cats'. "They're just drawings, I was bored and I don't see the connection with Chanyeol." He says more calmly, but the expression on Sehun's face doesn't change.

"Well, you-"

"No, it's not Chanyeol, it's just drawings."

"Baek."

"It's not Chanyeol." The more he speaks, the more his voice breaks in an almost inaudible whisper. Sehun can hear the words, fortunately he doesn't hear what's going on the inside, his fucking heart crying.

"Baek, please."

"I told you it wasn't him." Suddenly his voice shakes the walls. He grabs the notebook and opens the pages where his drawings are. "Anyway, he doesn't like them so." He rips out the pages and throws them in the trash before settling down again and sipping his tea as if nothing had happened. Sehun looks at him worried, but when he opens his mouth to say something, he feels Baekhyun's piercing gaze warning him not to say anything. So he says nothing and looks at him in silence.

When Chanyeol returns to the dorm, it's late. Everything is dark and everyone is asleep. Baekhyun is asleep. He hears his heavy breath in the room and this melody draws him to the bed where he settles by his side, far enough away to not touch him. He turns on his side to sleep, but again, despite the fatigue he can't sleep. His eyes remain wide open and his ears listen every breath.

He turns to look at him.

An angel.

He doesn't even hold back his hand caressing his face.

He doesn't even hold back his movement forward to get closer to him, ending up a few inches from his face.

For a while he holds back as best he can.

"Baekhyun?" He's calling softly.

"Baek?" No answer, he lets go of his blocked breath. Baekhyun's actually sleeping, so he won't know anything, right? Chanyeol licks his lips as his eyes drop on the boy's cute mouth, delicately eliminated by the reflection of the moon.

He leans and puts down a kiss. Just a small peck, but enough to make him completely crazy.

"Good night Baekhyun."

Baekhyun has never been happier to work than he is now. His new band, Super M, is a liberation for him. Not only it allows him to think about something else, but also because Chanyeol is not a part of the group.

But, fuck, he misses the giant, terribly. But he prefers that he misses him by far, without seeing him, rather than having him close to him and not being able to have him.

Fortunately his new bandmates are all funny and he quickly befriended everyone. Especially Lucas, it's with him that he spends most of his time, lying on the ground, watching youtube videos and laughing stupidly. Lucas is a breath of fresh air, an oxygen bottle that he needs when a certain person becomes too present in his mind and prevents him from breathing.

Between two videos, lying on the ground, Baekhyun gets a notification on his phone.

"Oh Chan-hyung posted a new photo." Jongin screams from the other side of the room. 

Baekhyun pinches his lips and space out for a minute, he doesn't know if he should look at Chanyeol's post or not.

"Hey." Lucas whispers next to him. "If you want, we can go out tonight."

"I don't know, I don't really want to go out with everyone."

"No, I was thinking about the two of us." He laughs nervously. "I mean, you know. Without the others. If you want, eh, no pressure, but I think you should think about something else so that's it."

"I... I don't know Lucas." His voice betrays his discomfort. Baekhyun likes Lucas, but not like that. And then he's clearly not able to have a date now, he doesn't want it, he doesn't want to complicate the situation even more.

"In friends, nothing more." The youngest tries to reassure him with his broad smile, but Baekhyun is still hesitating.

And then, why is he hesitating? After all, he has nothing better to do.

"Okay, then, we'll meet at 8."

"Chanyeol isn't here?" For a few days they have been crossing paths, exchanging a few words and sleeping. Chanyeol is not there all day, he comes back late at night and sometimes Baekhyun fails in his mission to stay awake until he returns. Well, he fails almost every time.

"No, he's out. He celebrates the birthday of an old friend."

"Oh, cool."

That's a good thing after all. Everyone worries about the giant because he works too much, at least tonight he's having a good time with friends.

That's very good. Especially since Baekhyun is going out with Lucas tonight, so that's fine.

That's perfectly fine.

Yes, Baekhyun is jealous. Stupidly jealous. He would have preferred Chanyeol to spend the evening with him. He's his friend, too, isn't he? Are they still friends?

_Damn, you killed the mood._

Baekhyun drags his feet behind Lucas. He really doesn't want to go out tonight, but he already said yes to Lucas, so here he is. Really, he wants to go home, get in his pajamas and eat ice cream while watching movies. He doesn't want to see people, he doesn't want to drink, he doesn't want to have fun, he just wants to forget. But for Lucas' beautiful eyes, he wants to make an effort.

"See? The atmosphere is pretty cool."

That's right, the music is good and the atmosphere is relaxed, Lucas was right. He almost brings a smile back to Baekhyun's face as they sit and order something to drink. They talk easily about everything and Baekhyun feels more and more relaxed, he even starts to being happy to be here tonight.

"You want to dance?" Surprisingly, Baekhyun proposes it. He feels good enough to go on the dance floor. Chanyeol is so far in his mind that he feels free. Freed from a weight. It's so good to feel light that he takes Lucas to dance. They perform a few dance steps, laughing each time, trying to do a mini battle in the middle of the dance floor. Everything is friendly, nothing exceeds the limit that Baekhyun has traced, not a gesture or a look, nothing.

He feels good in the company of Lucas, everything is perfect. 

He feels good.

He felt good.

A hand grabs him and pulls him through the crowd without giving him time to protest. He quickly finds himself sitting on a couch.

"What's your problem?" He screams as his eyes rise to the person who dared to interrupt his moment of well-being. His face changes when he notices it's Chanyeol. "C... Chan? What is... What are you doing here?"

"A friend is celebrating his birthday, so we came here. What are _you_ doing?" His tone is cold and his eyes are hard, they suit totally with his appearance. All black with his white skin and white hair. How can a person be so bright wearing black? Looks like he's shining.

"I came with Lucas."

"I saw." As sharp as a knife, Baekhyun frowns and crosses his arms.

"And I was having fun."

"I saw that too." The unchanged voice annoys Baekhyun who stands from the couch, determined to join Lucas who looks at him in the distance, but Chanyeol blocks his way.

"What? I'm not allowed to go out and have fun without your permission?" He asks sarcastically. Why could Chanyeol enjoy his time with his friends and not him? He didn't ask for anything, he didn't even know Chanyeol would be here tonight. Of course he his, fucking karma. He really has to stop annoying Kyungsoo, he's sure he casts spells on him when he sleeps.

"Well, you can have fun. Of course you have the right." Suddenly his voice cracks up and awakens Baekhyun's curiosity. He likes when he has the last word, but he loves even more when Chanyeol has eyes only for him.

"So I'm going to have fun with Lucas." The name rolls on his tongue exaggeratedly, with the hope to provok a reaction. He slowly passes by Chanyeol, so slowly to give him all the necessary tim to stop him, but he doesn't. Baekhyun doesn't feel any resistance and it disappoints him. _You're definitely an idiot._

"I..." Just a word and Baekhyun immediately turns to Chanyeol, anticipating the rest. Idiot, clearly. "Don't you want to come with us instead?"

"What for?" The real question is why he continues to hope to hear words that Chanyeol will never say. It's still crazy to be so stupid, like a dog waiting all day for his owner to come back from work, sitting at the door.

"I don't know, so we can... Well you can drink peacefully, without worrying about what you can do when you're drunk."

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

And again it disappoints him.

Baekhyun looks down to the ground, he can't help but hurt himself it's crazy.

But this time he'll be stronger.

"Next time, Lucas is waiting for me." He says with conviction and joins Lucas on the dance floor.

Chanyeol just watches him leave without saying anything.

And yet he would have so much to say.

Nobody had fun tonight. Baekhyun may have tried to find his little bubble of happiness with Lucas, but he only looked for Chanyeol. Chanyeol may have tried to have a good time with his friends, but he kept thinking about everything he should have said.

The worst part is that they end up in the same room.

Chanyeol enters on tiptoe and he whispers Baekhyun's name. The lack of answer confirms that the smaller is asleep, so he leans close to his face and admires him. Every feature of his face, before placing a kiss on the corner of his lips, just where his mole is.

Just one and he'll go to sleep.

It's like a chocolate before you sleep, it's just for gluttony. That's all.

Yet he doesn't move and keeps looking at him.

The more days pass, the more he needs more.

"Baek?" He really wants to be sure he won't wake up, but in a way he wants him to wake up, to stop him.

But he doesn't answer so he traces Baekhyun's lips with his thumb, gently and delicately to memorize the shape. He leans once more and kisses him.

He didn't expect to feel arms surronding his neck.

His heart is startling with surprise, panic, his cheeks blush with discomfort as he notices that Baekhyun is awake.

Fuck fuck fuck.

But he forgets everything for a second, when he feels the boy kissing him too. Something so slow and gentle. Baekhyun refuses to let him go, not until he can savor Chanyeol's lips.

After a while, they break the kiss and they look at each other. Chanyeol is embarrassed by the situation, he is especially afraid, he doesn't want Baekhyun to hear his heart beating like crazy.

"B..Baek, I... I'm sorry, I think I drank too much, I... I don't know-" He stutters, panicking.

"I love you Chanyeol."

He expected everything but those words. The blond looks at him in shock, the words choke in his throat.

"You... what?"

"I don't ask you to love me back, I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore." Strangely, his voice is clear, almost devoid of sadness. He seems totally in peace with his emotions and it completly destabilizes Chanyeol.

"I..." Chanyeol, on the other hand, has completely lost the ability to line up two words in a row.

"Really Chanyeol, don't force yourself. I had to tell you so I could... you know... move on." Words pierce his soul. Fuck, he would love to tell him not to move on, but words don't want to leave his throat. "I'm going to move on, so don't worry about it, okay? I... It won't be long, so we can do what we used to do together and be friends again." He smiles sadly, the worst thing in the world.

"O... Okay."

_Okay?_

_You moron._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took some times, but heheh new chapter.  
and seriously it's my fav  
so i hope you'll like it
> 
> love ^-^


	11. I miss you

It's the end of the world.

Truly.

Baekhyun is not the type to be dramatic -...yes he is- but this time he feels like his whole world is falling apart around him and he is just here, looking at it helplessly.

At first, he felt so light and good to have freed himself from this weight and to have confessed his feelings to Chanyeol, but soon this feeling turned into a heavy force on his heart. Baekhyun doesn't know what hurts him the most, that Chanyeol doesn't love him in return or that he desperately tries to forget him without really wanting it? Yes, because Baekhyun can't forget every feelings like that. He tries, enormously, but he can do nothing when his eyes are looking for Chanyeol every single time or when his voice wants to constantly call him, talk to him. His body doesn't help him either, he acts against his will and asks only to be close to Chanyeol.

Chanyeol is all that is present in Baekhyun's mind, he no longer eats, he no longer sleeps and his concentration at work is very limited. The days he loved spending with his new bandmates became long and agonizing because he never knew if he could see Chanyeol when he came home at night. Baekhyun was becoming more and more anxious, could he afford to talk to Chanyeol and approach him without scaring him? Could he still pretend to be his friend? Things stayed at that night when he told him he loved him and that's it. Nothing. Nothingness. And Baekhyun feels more and more empty.

But a promise is a promise and if to have Chanyeol close to him again he must forget him, then he will forget him.

"Hollywood baby!" Lucas exclaims happily while hugging Baekhyun. The villa is amazing, everything is amazing and Baekhyun looks all around him like a child at Disneyland. "We're going to be fine here, you'll see." He whispers softly in Baekhyun's ear.

"If you say so." Baekhyun smiles faintly and turns his back.

The new leader of SuperM should be happy to debut in Hollywood, in the USA, it's a crazy huge opportunity for him, for the band and for EXO, but he can't fake it. Rather than sucking all the fun out of the room, he walks around the villa silently, searching for his room. He finally finds his bedroom and sits on the bed, looking at the wall in front of him.

"Hey mate, we've got a few days here so try to have fun, okay?" Lucas walks into the room and sits next to him. "If you want, tonight we can go out, have a few drinks and meet some people?"

"I don't re-"

"I don't take no for an answer. Baek, you need to do something other than moping around."

"But-"

"No buts. Put your little ass in your prettiest slim and get ready to party."

Since when a 20-year-old tell him what to do? Baekhyun pouts, looking at Lucas, but Lucas shakes his head strictly.

"No need to pout, it doesn't work on me. Hop, hurry up." He says, clapping his hands. He gets up to get out of the room.

"I hate you." Baekhyun mumbles. "And my ass is not little."

"I LOVE YOU." Baekhyun's body sticks to Lucas's, surrounding him with his arms as his alcohol-scented breath hits Lucas in the face.

"I told you were going to have fun." He laughs, holding Baekhyun so he doesn't fall.

"America is soooo cool. Why aren't we American Lucas?" Baekhyun may have drink a little too much but not enough to be drunk, but enough to feel light as a feather. And happy enough to cuddle Lucas. "You know what we should do? Leave. Living in Los Angeles and becoming American." Baekhyun yells loudly, half slumped over Lucas. "Wouldn't it be nice to be American?"

"Why would you do that?" Lucas sneers as he ruffles Baekhyun's pink hair.

"I don't know? Just to say we're American. And well it's Los Angeles, it's cool."

"And what do you do with the others? You want to leave them behind?"

"Yes." Baekhyun responds in a sulky pout.

"Everyone?"

"Yes, everyone. I don't like them anymore." Lucas can't help but laugh at Baekhyun's attitude. When the latter drinks, he speaks like a capricious child and acts as such too.

"And do you still like me?"

"Yes, because you're an American, like me." He responds dramatically by taking Lucas's face in a cup with his hands. "You look like an American." He says as he observes his face, crushing his cheeks with his hands.

"Baekmmngh-" Lucas tries to remove Baekhyun's hands, but he is tenacious.

"You look like a fish. An american fish." He says before he lets go of Lucas's face and laughs stupidly.

"I think we should put you to bed before you crush someone else's face."

"No." He pouts.

"It's late and tomorrow we have our performance, you're the leader you have to set a good example."

"But I don't want to!" Baekhyun crosses his arms. "Unless you come to bed with me."

"Baek, be serious for two minutes, I can't-"

"I am the leader, I command. You'll sleep at my feet."

"Baek..."

"At... My... Feet." He repeats, articulating each word, a few inchs from Lucas's face, with his eyes in his eyes as if trying to hypnotize him.

"You're really impossible! Alright, leader." Lucas rolls his eyes and Baekhyun gasps happily.

"Hey Lucas... are you sleeping?"

No answer.

Baekhyun turns to the side to check if Lucas has his eyes closed. Seeing him deeply asleep, he smiled kindly but he still decides to shake him.

"Lucas, are you sleeping???"

"What?!" He exclaims, panting as if he had just woken up from a nightmare.

"Oh, you're awake, sweet."

"Baek, fuck you, you're really the worst-" Baekhyun doesn't give him time to finish his sentence that he snuggles up against him. The younger is silent and sighs, he can never blame him. How can a 27-year-old guy be so cute?

"I just wanted to talk." He whispers against his chest.

"About what?" Lucas' voice softens, Baekhyun finally wants to talk so he must feel good and comfortable.

"You... you... no you know what, it's stupid. Forget it." Baekhyun retreats and turns to the other side to hide his face reddened by embarrassment. Really, it's stupid.

"Baek, you can tell me everything, we're friends, right?"

"Right." He whispers in his pillow.

"Then tell me. What's going on?"

"Okay." He takes a deep breath, but he prefers to stay back at Lucas, too embarrassed to look at him at the moment. "You... How do you find me? I mean, is that... Would you date someone like me?"

Silence.

Baekhyun curses himself for asking this question, he feels terribly stupid, if he could choke in his pillow he would.

He curses this silence and he also begins to curse Lucas for not answering. Is it that hard to imagine dating Baekhyun? Hell, it's insulting.

Instead of an answer, he feels Lucas backhugging him.

"What do you mean by someone like you?" He asks kindly, so kindly that Baekhyun feels his tears choke in his throat.

"I... I don't know. Me." His voice is filled with disappointment when he speaks about himself, weeping silently, as if he had nothing to offer but himself. And what exactly is he? Just a 27-year-old boy? He doesn't know, at least not enough.

"Look at me Baek." He shakes his head negatively, refusing to turn. He doesn't want Lucas to see him crying. "Please."

Finally he gives in, wipes away his tears with his t-shirt and turns.

"You're thinking about Chanyeol, aren't you?" Baekhyun lowers his head and nods sadly. "Chanyeol is an idiot Baek." Immediately, Baekhyun looks up at Lucas and frowns. No one has the right to call Chanyeol an idiot, except Baekhyun. He's the only one who has the right. "But I'm sure he sees what we all see in you. You are you and that's fine, we love you like that."

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. Words he has often heard and yet he is there, feeling alone more than ever. Everyone loves him, but no one likes him enough to stay with him.

"Trust me Baekhyun, you're the most lovable person I know. You are an angel, beautiful from the inside and the outside. Well you are tiring sometimes, but you are you. Funny, kind, caring. You're my favorite person in this world Baekhyun." He ends with a whisper as his hand gently caresses Baekhyun's cheek. The latter remains motionless, visibly lost in a mental struggle.

Lucas looks at him and smiles.

"I'd love to date someone like you Baekhyun."

The words touch Baekhyun, but not as he would have liked. Of course, it's nice to hear them, but it doesn't fully relieve him. Part of him remains extinguished, despite Lucas's broad smile trying to comfort him.

"Thank you Lucas." He smiles. "Thanks for everything." He leans and kisses him. A chaste kiss, to try, to test, then Lucas tries to deepen it when he feels no resistance, but Baekhyun stops him.

"I'm sorry."

"No, it was very good." Baekhyun reassures him with a smile. "I just need time."

"Yes, I understand."

"Thank you Lucas, for everything you do for me." Baekhyun leans to lay a little peck on his lips and turns to sleep.

Lucas is with him, with all these beautiful words and his eyes that only look at him, that's all Baekhyun wants, but it makes him even sadder.

Because he feels absolutely nothing.

"Baek, everyone is waiting for you, mister leader." Lucas exclaims. Baekhyun is still out, lost in his thoughts. SuperM has just made its debut and everyone came to celebrate, the EXO are present to support Baekhyun and Jongin.

When he walks into the club, the feeling is strange. His broad smile is on his face, but it fades quickly as his eyes look for a person. One person.

"Chanyeol didn't come?" He hates himself for asking this so sadly. His voice breaks a little, even though he already knows the answer.

"Sorry Baek, he had things to do." Suho responds while massaging his shoulders to comfort him. "But I'm sure he's proud of you. We all are."

Baekhyun smiled sadly.

"Yes, if you say so."

After their performance, Baekhyun returns to his room and collapses on his bed, in the dark and the silence of his room for a few more hours. He is physically and morally exhausted. With his eyes staring at the ceiling, he can feel his tears running down with every breath. It's painful.

He can't do it.

He wants to have Chanyeol with him, to talk to him, to see him, to feel him.

Fuck it.

Baekhyun takes his phone.

To: Chanie

I miss you

He stops moving, breathing, blinking and he stares at this message without sending it. Does he have to send it? Does he have to erase it? His heart accelerates and his body starts to tremble, he bites his lip to avoid crying and then under a whim, he presses 'send'.

Immediately, he puts his phone into airplane mode and sends it away from him. He doesn't want to know if Chanyeol is going to answer him, he doesn't want to know what he's going to say, he's so fucking afraid... but he wants to know. He needs to know.

So, he removes the airplane mode, his eyes fixed on the screen.

A new message from Chanyeol.

His heart accelerates once more.

_Stop hoping like an idiot._

But he hopes, so bad, and holds his breath.

He opens the message.

From: Chanie

I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cndfkùdlfndlmff


	12. Three beeps

WHAT

THE

FUCK

Baekhyun reads the message again and again, close it and open it several time to be sure that he not dreamed it.

No, he didn't.

It's real.

The words are here.

Chanyeol send him that.

His heart is so full right now, it seems like it can explose at every moment. Baekhyun can't stop his tears and all his body is shaking. He feels like an addict who needs his drug, and he doesn't know if it makes him feel good or bad. Probably both. Regardless, he can't wait any longer and he presses the call button.

He waits three beeps, then Chanyeol picks up.

For a second, he only hears his breath and it initiates an uncontrollable sob.

"Fuck you Chanyeol." He says while crying like a baby. The fuck, why is he crying anyway? He's just so happy and sad at the same time, tired and so messed up. So many emotions and he can't deal with them.

"Baek." Chanyeol says so fucking softly.

Fuck, his voice. Baekhyun feels so relieved to hear it again. He missed it so much and yet it hurts really bad in his chest.

"Where are you? Why you're n...not here?" He tries so hard no to stuttle or sniff, but he's a mess and he can't hide it. Chanyeol drives him crazy.

"I'm here."

"What?"

"At Los Angeles. I came to see the show."

"B..but, why... why?"

Why didn't he come after? Why didn't Baekhyun see him in the audience? Why isn't he with him now?

"I... you seemed so happy on stage, you were so good, you looked so good. I... I couldn't come to the party and see you like that because it... it hurts. It hurts to see that you look so much happier when you're not with me, so I... just... left." Baekhyun can hear a sniff on the phone and his heart aches.

"But I'm so happy for you Baek and-"

"Shut up."

"Pl-"

"Shut up."

So Chanyeol remains silent, probably crying on the other side of the phone.

"Where are you now?"

"In front of the gate."

After that, Baekhyun throws his phone on the bed and runs.

He runs through the whole villa, barefoot. In the entrance, he presses the button to open the electric gate and continues his run. He doesn't even feel the pain when he runs barefoot on the pebbles, anyway he just doesn't care, he keeps running the climb until he gets to the gate.

Chanyeol stands in the middle of the two doors that open slowly, all dressed in black. A cap on his head, his big glasses on his nose, a sweatshirt too big even for him and a black jeans, but Baekhyun doesn't take the time to analyze him, he runs up to him and crashes against him, his arms surrounding his waist as tight as possible and his head against his chest.

The giant tightens the embrace, one hand resting on Baekhyun's waist, the other massing his neck.

And they stay like that, without moving, for a moment, in silence. They just enjoy this moment together, in each other's arms, without speaking, forgetting the rest. Just quick breaths and beating hearts.

"I just came to give you something."

It's Chanyeol who breaks the silence and Baekhyun hardly detaches himself from him. He steps back to look at Chanyeol, his eyes shining and red from crying too much.

The giant pulls out a black notebook from the pocket of his jeans and gives it to Baekhyun.

"I have to go to Milan so I can't stay tonight, but I'm proud of you Baekhyun." His hand wanders from his neck to his cheek, which he caresses gently. Baekhyun leans in the touch, closing his eyes. "And I'm sorry, I didn't want to ruin everything, I'm really happy for you Baekhyun, really." Even if it makes him miserable.

"I kissed Lucas." He doesn't know why, but he had to say it. However, Baekhyun doesn't move and even puts his hand against Chanyeol's, the one placed on his cheek so he can't remove it.

Chanyeol looks down and smiles sadly. He expected it, he's not surprised, but it still hurts him to hear it. He meets Baekhyun's eyes again and nods.

"If you want to be with him I understand and I accept and I am happy."

"You want to know what I felt?"

Well, not really.

"Nothing." He laughs. "Absolutely nothing."

Chanyeol frowns, confused.

"I wanted to know, I mean... Lucas is perfect. But, no, nothing. It really sucks."

"Yeah it sucks."

They look at each other for a moment before exploding with laughter.

"Hell, I'm so ridiculous, I should go inside." Baekhyun wipes away his last tears with his t-shirt and sniffs, always laughing nervously.

"Yeah, you should go inside." Chanyeol adds softly. "You're not ridiculous, Baek, you never are." He assures with a smile before taking his face in his big hands. "Keep the notebook with you, okay?"

Baekhyun nods.

"See you soon." He leans and kisses chastely Baekhyun.

His knees begin to tremble, but he has no time to reply that Chanyeol is already retreating, leaving him hungry.

One last smile and he disappears in the dark.

Baekhyun stands there for ten minutes, his fingers touching his lips.

He can't sleep, his heart is still a little crazy and his thoughts are looping on Chanyeol, the message, the kiss and everything. He blames himself for not holding him a little longer, but this time he knows that if Chanyeol leaves it’s because he needs to work and not because of him.

He turns in his bed, on the right side, eyes open. He looks at the bedside table on which he placed Chanyeol's notebook.

He opens it out of curiosity.

He can't believe his eyes.

The drawings he had drawn in his other notebook and which he had torn to throw them in the trash are there, reconstructed with scotch. Some lyrics of songs are handwritten, but this is the last page that intrigues Baekhyun.

He frowns as he looks at the collage-filled page. These are pictures of them, taken at events or parties. In all these photos, Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun without Baekhyun being aware of it, the stolen glances when Baekhyun looks elsewhere. He had no idea… and it didn't happen only once, but a lot of times. It's... crazy.

_I can't take my eyes off you._

Baekhyun's vision becomes blurred.

"Fuck you Chanyeol." He whispers, his voice broken by a sob. But this time it's not a sad sob, he even laughs in his tears.


	13. The question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> don't mind my grammar it's 3am (a)  
and yeah i should sleep but instead i chanbaek  
im not even sorry  
:p

Chanyeol feels... strange. Impatient, more than usual. He is agitated, he can no longer wait for his plane without going around in circles in the airport like a caged lion. In a few hours he will be in Japan for a series of concerts, but especially in a few hours he will see Baekhyun.

Baekhyun occupied his mind every second of every day. Sometimes he smiled like an idiot thinking of him, but soon the images turned into a black background that began to torture him with so many _'what if'_. What if Baekhyun finally gave Lucas a chance? What if they kissed again and this time he felt something? What if he really moved on? What if he waits for Chanyeol? What if it was all just a fling? All these questions nail him to his seat, his big eyes open and meaningless. He feels like he's losing his mind by filling it with doubts.

It's decided, he's going to take a little pill to sleep as much as possible, it will prevent him from going totally crazy.

Baekhyun takes advantage of a moment of calm, rare enough, to take his time. A very consistent breakfast and time to watch a show on TV. In recent weeks, he has run in all directions without stopping, so he intends to take advantage of the few hours he has left to take care of himself.

He foresees part of his schedule in his head; fill your stomach, take a long hot shower and crash on the couch snacking. *

"Perfect." Baekhyun exclaims cheerfully as he gets up, heading for the bathroom.

His body relaxes suddenly in contact with the hot water, making him sigh with ease. Quickly the bathroom turns into a sauna, leaving him the pleasure of drawing some stuff on the shower wall. Notably a little cartoon Mong Ryong and a character who looks strangely like Chanyeol. Baekhyun looks at his drawing and smiles gently.

He misses Chanyeol.

He can no longer wait for the return of the giant, it is pure torture. He doesn't even dare go outside for fear of missing his arrival, he really wants to be the first one Chanyeol will see.

He leaves out his drawings to start washing his hair, singing full-on the lyrics of the song that passes on his phone. It's a real mini concert in his shower, the two hands that massage his scalp.... quickly joined by two others.

Baekhyun jumps, having not heard the person enter the bathroom or in the shower, but the melodious laugh behind calms him down immediately.

Chanyeol.

A smile spreads on Baekhyun's lips as his head gently falls back to give Chanyeol more access as he continues to massage his skull.

"I needed to take a shower." Chanyeol's sleepy rauspy voice awakens a pleasant warmth in Baekhyun's body. That voice and his body. He feels the giant's body behind him, like a security fence, and lets himself fall a little more against him to feel it even more. He will never be close enough, but just knowing that Chanyeol is here makes him happy.

"Do you know there's another bathroom here?"

Chanyeol hums in knowledge of the fact.

"But there is only one with a Baekhyun in it." He whispers before manhandling the smaller and turning him.

Chanyeol takes him under the hot water spray to rinse his hair, taking care to protect his eyes.

Baekhyun, on the other hand, looks up at Chanyeol once in front of him and looks at him, his eyes shining and filled with admiration. He has cut his hair and Baekhyun will never repeat it enough, but he is incredibly sexy with his forehead clear. He looks like a man and Baekhyun can observe his entire beautiful face.

Chanyeol notices Baekhyun's persistent gaze and panics. He curses himself for reacting like that, but all his doubts resurface, his insecurities. He can't read the expression on Baekhyun's face and it's stressful.

"I... Did I go too far?"

After all, since the last time in Hollywood, they haven't spoken. Chanyeol may have crossed a line by following his instincts and if so he would hate himself to ruin everything before things have even settled.

"No, no, not at all." Baekhyun captures Chanyeol's distress and smiles in an attempt to reassure him. He circles his arms around the waist of his giant and cuddles him. This is officially his new favorite position. "I'm glad to see you." He adds less confident, blushing. Baekhyun suddenly becomes shy because of this new intimacy, but it only tightens his embrace. He doesn't want Chanyeol to go away. "I missed y-"

"I love you Baek." Chanyeol said hurriedly before all his courage disappeared. He needed to tell him orally, he had to get it out of his chest. All these words that remain locked in him for fear of showing themself, he needs to take them out even if it's difficult for him.

"Don't move on."

Baekhyun says nothing, he knows that he must give Chanyeol the time he needs, but he smiles, so hard that his muscles suffer.

"Don't kiss Lucas anymore."

He giggles and steps back to be able to watch Chanyeol.

"I really love you Baekhyun, really much."

Baekhyun's smile fades. Chanyeol seems so sad, it's his smile that looks so wrong.

"Why are you sad?" His hand immediately lands on Chanyeol's cheek and caresses it.

"No it's just that... it hurts." He points his chest, straight to his heart like a child showing where he hurt himself. Baekhyun frowns and places a kiss in the same place.

"Is it better?"

"I... Yes, a little better."

"Just a little?"

"Yes." He says with a shy smile.

Baekhyun is happy to have the power to give him a smile on his face despite all the feelings he can feel. Chanyeol has always been intense, a real tortured artist and just like Baekhyun he has a very bad self-esteem. Seeing him struggle so hard makes Baekhyun want to help him.

"I love you Chan, really much." He giggles while he takes his hand in his. Baekhyun looks down at their hands and watches his fingers intertwine with Chanyeol's, smiling. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and despite everything that's happened. I was in pain, very bad, but even though it was a mess I knew I loved a really good person. You're the best person I know Chan, you can't imagine how grateful I am to have you with me, in my life." He understands Chanyeol, exposing everything really hurts. It's like spitting out the weight of the unspoken, but the pain is only temporary to give way to a soothing flutter. "I was willing to forget everything to be your friend again because you are more important than my feelings. I was ready to suffer so that we would go back to the way we were, you and me against the rest of the world." He smiles as a few flashbacks flash through his head, when they were young and the best friends in the world, totally in their bubble, just them.

"I don't want us to be the way we used to be." Chanyeol's little voice is heard and Baekhyun comes out of his thoughts.

"Me neither. I don't want to play anymore." Why did it start in the first place? All for a matter of attention. Baekhyun almost ruined everything out of sheer selfishness so he can understand Chanyeol's reservations. "I don't play anymore. I've stop playing Chan for a long time. Believe me."

"I believe you, I'm just... scared." Chanyeol frowns and squeezes Baekhyun's fingers. "I don't know how we do it? In relation to the group? To the others? To the fans? It's... super complicated, they will never accept it and I'm not sure I-"

Baekhyun kisses him and that's all Chanyeol needs to calm his anxieties, just Baekhyun. Chanyeol gets lost in the kiss, languid and loving, sweet directed by Baekhyun with care. It's delicious, addictive.

"It's just you and me Chanyeol." He whispers as he kisses him one more time. "We'll make the decisions when the time comes, together."

"But what if-"

"Chan!" He stops him again. "Don't think about assumptions or what may or may not happen, think about what's real. I'm real and I'm here, for you, forever. No matter what happens Chan, I'll never leave you alone. And good luck with that." He ends with a mischievous smile, once again putting himself on tiptoe to kiss him. He really takes a liking to it and clearly he could spend his day doing just that.

Chanyeol deepens and bites his lower lip, causing him to meow. It's melodious and Chanyeol loves it.

"I can't believe I'm going to do this in the shower." He says against Baekhyun's lips.

"What... for real? You never-" Baekhyun sneers, which earns him a pat on the top of his head. "Hey!"

"Not that, moron." He rolls his eyes, but can't help but smile. "I was talking about... you know... the question."

Intrigued, Baekhyun arches an eyebrow. "A question?"

"Baek!" He whines.

"Chan!" He imitates him, stupidly. "If you want to ask me what I want to eat tonight, the answer is in front of me." He adds with such an angelic face that one would think that all the words that come out of his mouth are innocent. They're not.

"Good to know." He smirks and grabs Baekhyun's chin to kiss him. "But that's not what I was going to ask." His lips explore Baekhyun's jaw before venturing further down, on the long neck that Chanyeol bites. His shyness is quickly forgotten as long as he hears Baekhyun's reactions, he knows he wants to hear this every day.

"So... w..what it i..s?" Baekhyun doesn't even hold back from moaning, on the contrary.

"Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

He expected it, but hear it from Chanyeol's mouth, wow. He grabs his neck and sticks completely to him. Who would have thought that a single sentence could put him in this state? Probably not him.

"I need to think about it- OUCH."

Chanyeol just bit him, unhappy with his answer. Proud, Baekhyun sneers and bites the lobe of his ear.

"I'd love to, boyfriend."

"Boyfriend." He repeats with a smile.

Baekhyun detaches himself from Chanyeol to observe him, to observe his... boyfriend. His smile is wide, he feels lucky to have such a beautiful and adorable man between his hands.

"Is it better now?" He asks by pointing at his chest, where he was hurting a few minutes ago.

Chanyeol nods.

"The words, it's difficult you know."

"I know and I'm touched by every word that comes out of your mouth." His arms are slipping around his neck. "You don't need to say more Chan, you're already enough for me."

"Thank you Baek." He puts a quick kiss on his lips. "Now let me show you how much I love you, do you want?"

Baekhyun's smile leaves no doubt, he waited long enough, now he wants it all, just for him. He wants Chanyeol and damn it, he's hungry.

"You know how to talk to me."


	14. Magical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (just for you to know that they'll stay two idiots. two idiots in love hehe)

Baekhyun never felt that good, it's overwhelming.

His body still burns with Chanyeol's caresses and kisses. It's so good and so right. Chanyeol's hands laid on him, explored his whole body curiously and temptingly. If only they had had time, Baekhyun would not have contained all his excitement, because at the time he had only one need and this need is called Chanyeol. Unfortunately for them, the members were about to come back and they all had to get ready for the show.

Pretending nothing happened between them was funny at first, they exchange a few glances that only they understand and gradually find their old complicity, but it quickly became complicated when Baekhyun's only need was to be close to Chanyeol. Throughout the concert he kept looking at him, standing next to him whenever he had the opportunity. The ChanBaek little world was created on its own and Baekhyun couldn't be happier.

His stupid smile doesn't leave his face, he's happy. He is reunited with EXO on stage, he spent a wonderful evening with his Eris and things are going well with Chanyeol. It's been so long since they laughed and annoyed others so genuinely.

But Baekhyun clearly has no time to waste with all these cute feelings.

At the end of the concert, as usual the members gather to listen to Suho make his speech of proud mama, but Baekhyun is not in the mood. He is not in the mood to be with everyone. He uses a moment of distraction, when everyone is changing clothes, to take Chanyeol's hand and take him with him elsewhere, urgently. He hears the giant ask him if everything is okay, but he couldn't care less.

And everything is more than okay.

Once alone, Baekhyun crushes his lips against Chanyeol's abruptly, to exchange an angry, hurried and messy kiss. He can't hold back anymore.

"B..Baek." Chanyeol tries to speak, but the smaller doesn’t agree. He kisses him once again, sticking his tongue in Chanyeol's mouth, who kisses him back very quickly. When the giant deepens the kiss, it becomes sensual, calming Baekhyun's rhythm to lead him into a slower but much hotter dance.

Baekhyun feels hot, terribly hot. He violently pushes Chanyeol who falls on the couch, surprised.

"Baek?" If lust had a face, clearly it would be Baekhyun's. The soft features of his face embellished by his black and hungry eyes. "Maybe we should wait for everyone to leave. They're next door... they can come or hear everything."

"Don't even think about it." Baekhyun walks towards Chanyeol, slowly, his hands sliding frim his thighs to his knees which he pushes at once. Chanyeol now know that Baekhyun kneeling between his legs is one of his favorite visions.

"I'm serious-oh fuck." Baekhyun doesn't even waste time teasing him to hear him beg, he dips his hand into Chanyeol's underwear and as soon as he finds what he's looking for, he takes it directly in his mouth. Eyes raised to look at Chanyeol, see his reflection in his eyes and especially the effect he has on him. "Slo..slower."

But Baekhyun doesn’t listen and devours without leaving the slightest crumb, the tongue that licks greedily all along his cock before having fun with the head. The smaller smiles when he sees Chanyeol fighting his desire to moan, it's divine to have the giant under his total control and so exciting. Baekhyun feels harder and harder but holds back from touching himself. He wants to come with Chanyeol’s touch.

Baekhyun takes his dick to the deepest possible and finally Chanyeol escapes a long rausply growl.

"Fuck, that was hot." Baekhyun whispers, it goes directly to the south, and he's determined to start again.

"Baek, I'm not going to... no, oh fuck, fuck, fuck." Chanyeol grabs him by the hair to encourage him to go deeper, using his strength against Baekhyun as his orgasm arrives.

That's when Baekhyun pulls back, with a broad smile on his face.

"What are you not going to do? You need to finish your sentences Chan."

"You motherfucker."

Baekhyun giggles and lays his head on Chanyeol's thigh, playing with his dick with his fingertips.

"Sorry baby." He says without looking sorry at all. "I'm a bad boy." He pouts.

"The worst." Chanyeol takes him by the chin and leans towards him. "I think it takes away your right to be touched tonight."

Oh man, Baekhyun loves playing, but Chanyeol too.

"Come on." He pouts once more in order to soften Chanyeol. "We both know you can't keep your hands on yourself." Baekhyun has the defiant look and Chanyeol sends him back immediately. They just can't help it.

"Watch me."

"Yeah, yeah, we'll see." Baekhyun resumes his position, his mouth open ready for dessert, but Chanyeol push him back. It's like stealing a lollipop from a kid. Baekhyun looks at him, outraged.

"Yes _baby_, we’ll see."

Baekhyun can't believe his eyes.

He looks at every gesture of the giant, motionless sit on the floor while Chanyeol jerks himself unashamedly in front of him. He holds back from swearing but licks his lips when he sees his big hand moving quickly right in front of his nose.

"Yah, you cheat." He grumbles, but he never felt as excited as he is at that moment. Chanyeol pleasuring himself in front of him, it drives him crazy. This is when he knows, that he realizes he is really the man made for him. In trying to drive Chanyeol crazy, it's Chanyeol who drives him crazy. What the hell, he would like to jump on him, but Baekhyun sits still, biting Chanyeol's knee.

"Wanker." Baekhyun whispers as he meets Chanyeol's eyes and his overly proud smile, but he’s not defeated. He kisses Chanyeol's thigh, sticking completely against his leg. His hands travel on his abs, tracing each muscle with his fingertips. "At least kiss me." He demands and Chanyeol smiles. He leans and kisses him.

He kisses him as if it were the last time, until Baekhyun moans in his mouth. Chanyeol opens his eyes and the fever invades him again.

"Oh fuck Baek." He moans, resuming his movements with his hand.

Baekhyun grabs Chanyeol's neck so he doesn't move away and sticks his forehead against his. Eyes open to look at him and mouths close to each other to breathe the same air.

"Do you like what you see?" Baekhyun smirks, moaning again against Chanyeol's lips. He rubs himself against Chanyeol’s leg without the slightest shame.

Chanyeol nods, words not coming. On the other hand, he comes, in his hand, with a silent moan. Baekhyun smirks again, delighted to have seen this so close and it doesn’t take long for him to come in his pants.

They're both tired, but they're laughing. Baekhyun gets up and sits on Chanyeol so he can hug him. He was never in demand of some cuddles after sex, but now his whole body asks for it. It's Chanyeol. He squeezes him tightly, his head sinking into the hollow of his neck.

"Thank you Chan."

"I didn't do anything, though." He giggles stupidly.

"Not for that, stupid. Thank you for being you and thank you for loving me." Baekhyun feels his heart grow heavier as he says those words, he is so happy that it becomes destabilizing. As if all his happiness rested on Chanyeol's shoulders. As if his happiness was Chanyeol.

"And thank you for being you." Chanyeol hugs the smaller. "But I'd love you even more when you take a shower." Chanyeol or how to break an emotional moment. Still, Baekhyun laughs because of this moron.

"It's the first time I feel so... weird after. And you didn't even touch me." He laughs at himself, his smile that hides his sudden fear that everything can stop. Now that he knows what it's like to be and feel complete, he's afraid he's not going to be enough for Chanyeol.

Chanyeol giggles and caresses Baekhyun's back.

"Baek?"

"Hm?"

"You were magical tonight, you are all the time. No wonder why you're the light of EXO." He says lazily, tired by the day he has just spent.

Yes, Chanyeol has always had trouble expressing his thoughts because of all his insecurities, and yet every word touches Baekhyun's soul. He didn't even realize how much Baekhyun needs it.

"Thank you Chan, thank you so much."


End file.
